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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23566108">Anything to Protect You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasienda/pseuds/Kasienda'>Kasienda</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Doom Tree Arc, F/M, Fake Dating, Fluff, Happy Ending, Identity Reveal, Light Angst, Like unhealthy levels of stalking, Makai Tree Arc, Mamoru is being hounded harrassed and stalked, Mutual Pining, Stalker, UsaMamo Spring Fic Exchange 2020, Usagi will fix it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:14:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>33,124</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23566108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasienda/pseuds/Kasienda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mamoru had always had more than his fair share of attention from the ladies (and a few gentlemen if he was being honest). He never really knew what to do with any of it. He had dabbled once with a girl he had met through a shared lab section, but although he liked and respected her, he had never really felt a connection. They had parted on friendly terms.</p><p>None of that past experience had prepared him for Ginga Natsumi. Natsumi was a blood hound and she made him feel like he was prey in an open field with nowhere to hide. She showed up everywhere. </p><p>...</p><p>A story where Mamoru is feeling pretty hunted and in a moment of panic he kisses Usagi to make a point to his stalker. He didn't know Usagi was already in love with him, nor that she's Sailor Moon, nor that she would totally agree to do anything to protect him, including (but not limited to) pretending to date him for an indefinite amount of time.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chiba Mamoru/Tsukino Usagi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>152</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>292</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Anything To Protect You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starling_Sinclair/gifts">Starling_Sinclair</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for StarlingSinclair for the Usamamo Spring Fic Exchange. </p><p>Apparently she's a sucker for fake dating! Please enjoy! ;-)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mamoru had always had more than his fair share of attention from the ladies (and a few gentlemen if he was being honest). He never really knew what to do with any of it. He had dabbled once with a girl he had met through a shared lab section, but although he liked and respected her, he had never really felt a connection. They had parted on friendly terms.</p><p>None of that past experience had prepared him for Ginga Natsumi. Natsumi was a blood hound and she made him feel like he was prey in an open field with nowhere to hide. She showed up <i>everywhere</i>. </p><p>He had encountered her first at the student union at Tokyo University in between classes. She had plopped down next to him with a bright smile, and introduced herself as a freshman. </p><p>“I’m new here,” she told him. “But you look like you know your way around. Would you mind helping a girl out?” </p><p>He had smiled. Motoki had told him he needed to work on being friendlier so he was trying that out. He hadn’t thought sharing his name would be a problem. They had chatted for a few moments, before he had led her to the student information desk, so that she could get a more formal guide. </p><p>Really, speaking to her at all was the worst mistake he had ever made. </p><p>He hadn’t thought anything of it at first. The brunette had just started popping up into his path. She was outside his lecture hall when his anatomy class got out. She was at the train station. </p><p>“Oh my god! You live in Azabu?! So do I! It’s such a small world Mamaru-kun!” </p><p>He ran into her at the grocery.</p><p>“Mamoru-kun!” she crooned excitedly from behind him in line. “Fancy seeing you here. And we picked out the same ice cream flavor! Double chocolate fudge!” she exclaimed as if that alone was a sign of their everlasting compatibility. </p><p>He had given her a polite smile, paid for his food, and while she was trapped in her own transaction, made a point of not going home. </p><p>The next day, he had been in the library. He swung around between two shelves having retrieved four of the six reference books he needed for his paper, before he turned into her unfortunately familiar face.</p><p>“We’ve really got to stop meeting like this Mamoru-kun,” she had said coyly, her long lashes fluttering over her piercing eyes. “I’m going to think you’re stalking me.” </p><p>And then everything got worse. </p><p>She would lean into his space, casually brush her leg against his own while on the train, or loop her arm through his own before resting her head on his shoulder. She became direct and bold, asking him out before describing in uncomfortably graphic detail the things she wanted to do to him. </p><p>He shuddered. </p><p>And no matter how many times he told her he was flattered but not interested, physically dodged her advances, or carefully peeled her off his arm, she didn’t take a hint. </p><p>After three weeks of this, his skin crawled every time he caught so much as a glance of the predator. He was feeling increasingly stalked and trapped like he was some hunted animal. And when she showed up at the front of his building, he knew he was in trouble. But he didn’t know what to do.</p><p>He was clearly in need of aid.</p><p>There was only one person in his life that he usually felt comfortable talking to about such things: Furuhata Motoki.</p><p>If it took him an extra hour to get to the Crown Fruit Parlor it was only because he was trying to lose his tail. But when he arrived Motoki’s attention was completely unavailable, as he was trapped deep in conversation with one of their mutual friends, Tsukino Usagi. </p><p>Mamoru held a soft sport for the bubbly girl. She had been the volunteer at his bedside when he woke up with memory loss for the second time in his life. He knew from the first experience when he was six years old, that waking up alone and confused in a hospital bed could have literally been one of the worst moments in his life. But instead this explosive, loud, wonderful girl had been there. </p><p>She alone made the experience almost a fond memory. She had made him laugh as she told story after preposterous story guessing what could have happened in his missing month of memories. </p><p>“You love cats, right?” she had asked, as she fiddled with the ends of her long golden hair. </p><p>He had nodded, a huge grin spreading across his face, eager to see where she would go with this. The previous day, she had told him an adventurous tale of being an undercover spy that had infiltrated the yakuza.</p><p>“I bet you were running a cat orphanage out on the outskirts of town. You would go there every day and feed them. But the last time you were there, your favorite kitten - the little black one with tuxedo markings…”</p><p>“How do you know the little black one is my favorite? Maybe I like the little orange tabby,” he offered with a smirk.</p><p>“Pssh, please,” she waved dismissively at his mock objection. “Smart fancy guy like you? The kitty with the formal wear is definitely your favorite!” </p><p>“I see.”</p><p>“So anyway, your favorite black cat was stuck in a tree.the poor thing was just mewling its heart out, and it being your favorite, you couldn’t just leave it there, could you?” </p><p>“It would’ve been heartless.”</p><p>“Exactly! So you climbed that tree and just after you reached the kitty, you slipped and fell, and hit your head. And that’s how you lost your memory.” </p><p>“How mundane,” he commented dryly. </p><p>“But don’t worry. You broke the fall, so your kitten was fine.”</p><p>“How reassuring.”</p><p>“I thought you’d think so!”</p><p>She had come back to visit him every day of his stay, and, when he was discharged, it was with a rock in the pit of his stomach that he said good-bye, fully expecting to never see her again.</p><p>He had been delighted to randomly run into her at the Crown Fruit Parlor less than a week later, and even more excited to realize they had a mutual friend in Motoki. They had an easy, teasing, bickering relationship. One where he gave her a hard time for being a klutz and she gave him hell for having a terrible memory. </p><p>She had made him feel like his memory loss wasn’t the end of the world. It was something he could talk about rather than keep hidden. Like it was some personality quirk to tease him about rather than a tragedy to pity him for. She made him feel accepted and normal. So, he wasn’t exaggerating when he said that random encounters with Usagi were always eagerly anticipated and covetted. </p><p>But then about a month ago, her entire demeanor had dramatically shifted. Sad mournful smiles replaced her former easy cheer. An inability to meet his eyes took the place of her biting teasing remarks. Her gaze now felt heavy, and old, as if she suddenly held the weight of the world on her shoulders.</p><p>He couldn’t shake the gnawing sensation in his gut that something was horribly wrong.</p><p>He was worried that something had happened to her, but he didn’t know how to ask. He didn’t know how to support her the way she had supported him. When he had asked Motoki for his opinion, his friend had responded with confused, furrowed brows. Usagi was apparently as bubbly and happy as ever in his friend’s eyes.</p><p>That was when Mamoru realized, and it was quickly supported by observation, that Usagi only grew quiet, contemplative, and sad when he was there. If she didn’t notice him, she was more like the girl who had kept him company in the hospital. More like the girl he had befriended.</p><p>He didn’t know what he had done, but he did know one thing - seeing Usagi so sad was a travesty, a crime against humanity, one he could not stand for. So, he did the only thing he could think of to fix it; he started avoiding her. He didn’t want to see her eyes downcast, and he couldn’t handle even the notion of being the one to trigger it. </p><p>From three booths away, he watched Usagi at the bar animatedly relate some misadventure she had had with her friends to Motoki, her smile stretched wide, her eyes bright with sheer, pure delight. </p><p>Mamoru sighed. If she saw him, that smile would evaporate like smoke. It would be best to leave, and come back after his afternoon class. He turned to leave, only to spot his dark-haired stalker right outside the large window peering at him with predator’s eyes.</p><p>He whirled right around again, and walked right up to Usagi, interrupting her tale. </p><p>He looked into her startled blue eyes for a second, cupped her face gently between his hands, and kissed her. </p><p>He had meant for it to be a chaste, innocent kiss. Just a touch of soft skin to make a point to the terrifying woman outside. </p><p>But he had been unprepared for Usagi’s response. She was like butter melting in his heat. Her fingers tightened into his shirt like a kneading kitten. She tasted like the chocolate milkshake she had been drinking and her lips felt as smooth and soft as silk. Tingles shot down his spine. Goosebumps broke out across his arms and neck.</p><p>He hadn’t known that a kiss could feel this good.</p><p>“Guys! This is a children’s arcade! Take it elsewhere!” Motoki chastised. </p><p>Mamoru pulled away reluctantly with a small gasp as he sucked in much-needed air. She mirrored his actions - her mouth hung open in an “o” of surprise. Her eyes opened slowly revealing wide orbs that were the color of afternoon sky on the clearest day. He could lose himself in their unending depths.</p><p>“Mamo-chan?” she breathed. “Do you remember?”</p><p>“Remember?” he repeated, confused, barely remembering why he had kissed her in the first place.</p><p>Natsumi! Right. </p><p>He glanced behind him to see if Natsumi had departed. She hadn’t. She glared at him, her hands at her sides, curled into fists. </p><p>He turned away, and nuzzled himself to Usagi’s ear. “Can we go somewhere to talk?”</p><p>He pulled away just enough to take in Usagi’s overblown eyes and flushed cheeks. He had done that to her. </p><p>She nodded rapidly. Her fingers quickly interlaced through his own. Nothing had ever fit so perfectly in his hand before. She guided him to the employee break room, a tiny space with a couch, a little round table, a couple of blue cubbies overhanging the seating area. It was thankfully unoccupied. </p><p>“I’m so sorry!” he blurted the second the door swung closed behind them. </p><p>“Sorry?” Usagi repeated, her hand pulled away from his grip. He suddenly felt cold. </p><p>“For kissing you.”</p><p>“You’re sorry for kissing me? Was it that bad?” Her mouth frowned and her eyebrows furrowed. </p><p>“What?! No, of course not. You’re an amazing kisser!”  He blushed at his own thoughtless admission, but that had been the best kiss he had ever experienced. Though he admittedly had a very small sample size.</p><p>“No, I just…” nervous fingers swept through his raven locks as Mamoru collected his thoughts. “I know we’re not in a relationship or anything. I know you have no interest in me.” </p><p>“I… what now?”</p><p>“I have a stalker.” He could not get the words out fast enough. He had to make her understand. He wasn’t the type of guy who just went up and kissed strangers. Or his friend in this case. </p><p>Her eyebrows furrowed deeply. “Huh?” </p><p>“I have a stalker. Her name is Ginga Natsumi and she will not leave me alone. Nothing I say or do seems to work to get rid of her. I was going to ask Motoki for advice, but you were there, and then she walked in. I was desperate. So, I kissed you… hoping that she would get the idea. But I had no right. I’m sorry! It won’t happen again!”</p><p>Usagi put a hand on his arm. </p><p>“It’s okay Mamoru-kun. I understand. You’re absolutely forgiven.” Her blue eyes shined with sincerity.</p><p>He let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Usagi-chan. Again, I’m really sorry.” </p><p>“It’s okay.” </p><p>Silence fell, and Mamoru felt awkward. It was a familiar feeling to him. He often didn’t know the proper way to interact in social situations, but usually when he was with Usagi she had a way of smoothing things out elegantly.</p><p>“Well, I guess… I should be going,” he offered and turned back from the door. </p><p>“Mamoru-kun? Just one thing before you go.” </p><p>He turned back around, and was shocked to find tears in her eyes.</p><p>“What’s wrong, Usagi-chan?” </p><p>She shook her head. “Please be careful. Minako’s had her fair share of stalkers. A stunt like that might just make your stalker more angry and more determined. Not less. She might have guessed that you did that only to throw her off.”</p><p>Every muscle inside of him tensed. He didn’t know how things could get any worse. Natsumi was everywhere and she didn’t take no for an answer. </p><p>“What do I do?” he asked, his voice broken and desperate.</p><p>She didn’t say anything for several seconds. But she reached out, and placed a hand on his arm again as if she was trying to reassure him. </p><p>“I-if you wanted, we could keep pretending.”</p><p>He looked up, startled. “What?” </p><p>“We could keep pretending to date,” she clarified. “I could be your fake girlfriend.” </p><p>Would that mean he got to kiss her again?</p><p>“That’s incredibly kind of you to offer, but I really couldn’t ask that of you.” </p><p>“Why not?” she asked, as if she was offended that he wouldn’t use her in this way. </p><p>He stared at her in shock. </p><p>She seemed to cave in on herself when he didn’t respond. “Am I not attractive enough?” she whispered. </p><p>“What?! No! You’re gorgeous!” The heat grew on his neck. Where was his filter today?! He needed it. </p><p>“Then why?” she whispered. Her gaze dropped to her hand, still on his arm. </p><p>He tilted her chin up to look up at him. “Because I respect you. I wouldn’t want to use you or take advantage of your kindness like that.”</p><p>Her eyes trembled, and for a second he thought she was going to cry. </p><p>“I didn’t even think you liked me,” she admitted softly.</p><p>“You were there when no one else was. Of course I like you,” he was holding her hand again, against his chest like it was something precious he had to protect. “You’re incredibly special to me. Which is another reason I wouldn’t want to use you like this.”</p><p>They were silent for a long time. And she eventually pulled her hand away again with a pink blush across her cheeks. </p><p>“I appreciate the sentiment Mamoru-kun, but stalkers are no joke. If things get worse, please promise you’ll call me.”</p><p>He stared at her, floored at her offer. </p><p>“I would do <i>anything</i> to protect you,” she told him firmly, her eyes ablaze in fierce passion. </p><p>He was tempted to tease her a bit in that moment for going just a little over the top, but something stopped him. Her blue eyes spiraled, her jaw hardened in stubborn determination. She was so compelling, and he couldn’t help but believe her. </p><p>He swallowed the sudden brick in his throat. And had to clear his throat before he managed to speak. “Thank you Usagi. I appreciate that.” </p><p>“Motoki-oniisan has my number… If you need it.”</p><p>Mamoru told himself he wouldn’t take her up on her offer. He couldn’t, though part of him wanted to. It seemed so unfair and one-sided. Like what would she even get out of the arrangement? He didn’t have a whole lot to offer someone so bright like Usagi. </p><p>He hadn’t thought things could get worse, but over the next two days, Natsumi proved him wrong again. Suddenly, he didn’t run into her once or sometimes twice in a day. Now it was everywhere he went, she would be there too. She was at the Crown when he arrived, sitting in his usual seat looking perfectly normal and innocent. He turned around. </p><p>He went to class, and fifteen minutes into his first lecture she entered the room with a loud bang. His professor had snapped at her for disrupting the lecture. </p><p>She had simpered, apologized profusely, and took a seat… right by the exit. </p><p>When he tried to leave at the conclusion of class, she had blocked his path. Then she tried to kiss him. And when he dodged, her nails had dug into his wrist, preventing him from escaping.</p><p>“Let go,” he said. </p><p>“Mamoru!” she gushed. “Don’t be coy,” she fluttered her eyelashes. “I saw you at the arcade. You clearly enjoy the attention of the female variety.” </p><p>He twisted out of her grip, though it cost him three parallel gashes on his inner wrist. Thankfully, he made it back to the safety of his apartment without another encounter, but an hour later while relaxing on his balcony, he had caught sight of the brunette on the ground outside the complex, her gaze locked onto his. </p><p>His resolve to not ask for Usagi’s help shattered.</p><p>Motoki had sent over the blonde’s number without even asking why he needed it. Mamoru felt oddly irritated at his friend’s lack of protectiveness over Usagi. But then, his friend had just witnessed him borderline making out with her three days prior, so... </p><p>“So… you were right,” he spoke into his phone the second the ringing stopped.</p><p>“Hi Mamoru! This is actually Minako!”</p><p>“Hi Aino-san,” Mamoru grumbled, letting his head thunk into the wall. It wasn’t possible to know Usagi without the gaggle of friends that came with her. She was a beautiful and loving person. Of course she had a lot of friends. And out of all of them, Mianko was the one that seemed to have it out for him. He wasn’t quite sure what he had done to offend the other blonde or if she just was merciless in her teasing, but she was highly skilled in ruffling his feathers. </p><p>“I don’t suppose Usagi is around,” he tried.</p><p>“She is! But I stole her phone, so that I could serve as her legal representative in this matter.”</p><p>He snorted.</p><p>“She would love to be your girlfriend, Mamoru, but as her best friend and as someone with experience in these matters, I feel I need to be involved. We should all three of us meet up and discuss our story, come up with some pet names, pick a few times for you and Usagi to be seen together publicly, and most importantly, define some ground rules to protect you both.”</p><p>Mamoru was rapidly feeling overwhelmed. “D-do you really think all that is necessary?” </p><p>“If you want to be believable,” Minako quipped back. “And I want to make sure that you don’t accidentally hurt Usagi. It’s not always easy to keep yourselves sorted when you’re pretending to be in love.”</p><p>“Minako!!” Usagi whined from the other end. “Let me talk to him!” </p><p>“This is for your own good, Usagi,” Minako said. “So what do you say, Mamoru-san? Want to come over to discuss terms?”</p><p>He swallowed. This was suddenly more complicated than he anticipated. What was he getting himself into?</p><p>Still on the phone, he glanced down over the railing. Natsumi was still there. </p><p>“Yeah, that sounds good. When are you available?” </p><p>“How about now?” </p><p>“I’ll be right over.” </p><p>He just had to figure out how to get around Natsumi. The main entrance was out. He approached the fire escape without thought.</p><p>Then he caught himself. What was he <i>doing?!</i> Planning to leap across <i>rooftops?!</i> </p><p>…</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time, Minako meets with Mamoru and Usagi to discuss the guidelines and rules of fake dating! </p><p>Slight note, Usagi being a hospital volunteer when an injured Mamoru wakes up – I thought that was canon, so I didn’t bother to explain it! Apparently, it’s a leftover fragment from the DiC dub, which tore apart the last two episodes of the Dark Kingdom arc and pasted them back together. So, it’s kinda canon, but apparently, it’s only American canon. So, if you’re unfamiliar with that, that’s where it came from. Honestly, that scene has always stuck out to me in my memory, so apparently maybe the DiC did one thing (and I concede only one thing) right. </p><p>Special thanks to TinaCentury. She is the best beta and is so patient with my freak outs about deadlines and gets me writing again when I get stuck and gives such great insight on where I can flesh things out! </p><p>Reviews/Comments are love!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Ground Rules</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Minako was curled up on the couch, her legs tucked to one side as she sipped carefully at her steaming tea. She watched in equal parts amusement and irritation as Usagi paced the living room floor forward and back, forward and back, again and again.</p><p>“Will you relax, already?” Minako barked.</p><p>“I feel like he should’ve been here by now,” Usagi muttered. “Do you think something happened to him?” </p><p>Minako rolled her eyes. “No, I think he’s fine. I think you’re used to him bounding over rooftops to get anywhere in like twenty minutes. But seeing as he doesn’t remember any of that, he has some obstacles.” </p><p>Usagi sighed, and flopped down beside Minako.</p><p>“If I told him what he’s forgotten, do you think he’d believe me?” she asked, her voice wistful.</p><p>“Stick in the mud, overly-rational Mamoru?”</p><p>“Hey! He’s not a stick in the mud!” Usagi objected.</p><p>“Probably not,” Minako concluded. </p><p>“Yeah, he’d probably think I was completely crazy,” Usagi concluded with a mournful sigh. She lasted another twenty seconds before she bolted back up from the couch and resumed her pacing.</p><p>Minako’s heart broke for her princess. Usagi brought only light and love into the world. She deserved to be happy. Minako privately thought Mamoru would eventually fall in love with her, but who knew how long that would take? </p><p>The boy was <i>dense</i>. </p><p>Minako has been shooting him hints for months. He missed them entirely. She whispered in his ear that Usagi had a thing for adopting lonely orphans. </p><p>“That sounds like her,” he had agreed as he took in her friend with soft, fond eyes. </p><p>But had he made a move? <i>No!</i> </p><p>So she announced loudly at parties he attended that Usagi needed a responsible sober driver to get safely home, knowing that Mamoru refused to partake in a single alcoholic beverage. (Apparently, he was afraid of memory loss or something. Minako didn’t bother to remember the exact details for why he insisted on being a stick in the mud). When he didn’t immediately volunteer, and let friggin’ <i>Umino</i> swipe the task away from him, she figured he would never get it unless she was direct. </p><p>She made an off-hand comment on how she was trying to set Usagi up with someone, but the girl was so picky. Minako had hoped that jealousy would get his act in gear, but he had merely told her that Usagi was allowed to be discerning. Connections weren’t always easy to make. </p><p>After that, she had just started making fun of him for being an awkward, oblivious nerd with no social skills. Artemis had told her it was counterproductive, but you know what? It made her feel just a little bit better. </p><p>Minako sighed into her tea. She really wasn’t a fan of this fake dating plan. She knew it could work out, but it was also just a recipe for missing each other’s interest. There would be misunderstandings. They were both likely to get hurt.</p><p>“Are you sure you want to do this?” Minako asked, her eyes staring through the steam from her cup.</p><p>“Of course!”</p><p>Minako sighed. “But it’s such a bad idea. You’re in love with him. He would only be pretending.”</p><p>“But maybe if he’s pretending, he’ll remember me,” Usagi argued back.</p><p>“You can’t assume that. You’re much more likely to get hurt.”</p><p>“I’m already hurting,” Usagi admitted softly. “Plus, you didn’t hear him talking about this stalker, Minako. He was literally shaking. I have to do this. I have to protect him.” </p><p>“What if I were the one to fake date him?”</p><p>Usagi opened her mouth, but Minako held up her hand to forestall her objections. </p><p>“Hear me out. I would protect him. You <i>know</i> I would. And I have experience in this. I know how to pretend without getting my heart tangled up in it.”</p><p>Usagi turned glassy eyes in her direction. “Thank you, Mina,” she said softly. “I know what you’re trying to do. But please don’t make me watch him with someone else. Even if it’s you. Even if it’s not real. I don’t think I could take it. I’m not that strong.”</p><p>“You’re wrong,” Minako argued back without any heat. “If it made him happy, you’d let him go in a heartbeat.” </p><p>“But this is different than that. And I just will feel better knowing it’s me there to protect him.” </p><p>Minako sighed, and glanced up at the ceiling. She couldn’t win this case. It was hopeless, so she stopped trying. “I understand. I don’t trust anyone else to protect you either.” Minako stood and pulled her dearest friend into a hug. “But for the record, you make it really <i>hard</i> to protect you.”</p><p>Usagi smiled and let her head fall onto Minako’s shoulder. “But you keep trying to anyway.” </p><p>The doorbell rang at that moment, and her princess bolted from her arms for the door.</p><p>“Hi Mamoru-kun!” she greeted brightly, as she swept the door open widely in welcome. </p><p>In one hand he held a long beautifully wrapped present, and his other hand was still held up mid-knock. Minako wanted to groan. Had he seriously brought an omiyage?! </p><p>Usagi rushed forward with her arms open to hug him, only to be met with him holding out the gift to her. Then he hurriedly shifted to reciprocate the embrace, but Usagi had backpedaled immediately into the apartment, her shoulders already slumped.  </p><p>Minako actually groaned. It was the most awkward exchange she had ever witnessed. </p><p>Minako set her tea down. It was like they had taken ten steps backward! How was she ever going to get these two together? She prayed for patience. Well, first things first. </p><p>“Is that an omiyage?!” Minako barked.</p><p>“Uh, yes?” he said, holding out the long rectangular package again, as he slipped out of his shoes, and Usagi closed the door.</p><p>She snatched it from his hands and thwacked him with it. “Lesson number one! You don’t bring an omiyage to your girlfriend!”</p><p>“You don’t? Even when you’re visiting her home for the first time?” he asked in genuine confusion. Bless his heart. </p><p>“Mina!” Usagi objected. </p><p>Minako ignored her. “<i>No!</i> It’s way too formal! You bring an omiyage the first time you meet her parents! When you visit her, you need to bring her take out from the ramen place across the street. Or her favorite onigiris from the conbini! You bring her something she can tear into the second you arrive and gush about how wonderfully amazing you are.” </p><p>“I see…” </p><p>“Now, put your shoes back on!” she ordered. </p><p>“Why?” </p><p>“Because that was a terrible greeting. We’re going to do it again. And this time, when she leans in to give you a hug, you’re going to go with it!”</p><p>Minako sighed again. She definitely had her work cut out for her.</p><p>… </p><p>Mamoru was nervous. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this anxious. Maybe it was the first time Motoki’s family had invited him over for the holidays upon learning that he didn’t have family to visit? Or maybe, when he was twelve and had interviewed with a prospective guardian? </p><p>In any case, this was definitely in his top three panicked moments in his life. </p><p>He had arrived five minutes ago with a gift in hand, but had yet to knock. </p><p>What did he even say to Usagi? He had kissed her (under entirely false pretenses) and she had melted in his arms. What if he had done that without the false pretenses? Would she be his actual girlfriend now instead of going through this crazy fake girlfriend scheme that she had so generously offered? </p><p>The idea was not unappealing. </p><p>Why had she offered that anyway? It was going way too far. She was too kind. </p><p>He almost turned around and headed home. But the thought of Natsumi’s blood-red gaze waiting for him stopped him before he reached the elevator. His fingers traced over the parallel gashes on his inner wrists. They itched more than they hurt at this point, but they served as a jarring reminder, regardless. As awkward as he felt about this proposition, he was desperate.</p><p>What had happened to his life, that it had come to this? </p><p>He still hadn’t knocked. </p><p>He finally got over himself when a neighbor passing through the hall gave him a strange look. Fearing that this person would start to think that Mamoru was some crazy stalker, he pushed himself into action. </p><p>And then there she was. All warmth and smiling so brightly, like a firefly in the night, like a full moon on the Winter’s Solstice. </p><p>Yeah, he was definitely asking too much of her. </p><p>So, he tried to give her his gift. It was the least he could do. He didn’t process that she was going to hug him until it was too late. He wasn’t used to physical closeness. He had always been socially awkward.</p><p>Usagi’s open joy had evaporated instantly when he botched the greeting, just like it had every time he stumbled into her presence lately. Something inside him withered and he was more convinced than ever he didn’t deserve her time or her care.  </p><p>So, when Minako gave him hell, when she pointed out that his present was too formal. (It seemed so obvious now. And completely thoughtless to buy something generic that had even already been wrapped by someone else), and made him redo his greeting to his “girlfriend” <i>seven</i> times, he followed her every direction. </p><p>When he had finally satisfied the blonde tyrant with his performance, he was welcomed warmly into their shared apartment. </p><p>Mamoru now sat stiffly on their couch next to the usually bubbly Usagi as her roommate lectured him on the art of fake dating, feeling more uncertain of himself than he had since he was seventeen and on his own for the first time. </p><p>Minako poured him a cup of tea. He took it gratefully, but didn’t immediately drink it, thinking it wise to let it cool. He glanced at Usagi, who sat beside him, uncharacteristically quiet. Before he could ask her about it, Minako stole his attention by launching into a rambling explanation of why she had asked to be involved. </p><p>“It’s always helpful to have a neutral third person to guide these conversations,” she explained. He had never seen her so serious. “I’m here to make sure you are both on the same page about what you’re agreeing to, and to help you establish some rules and boundaries. Think of me more like a couple’s counselor.” </p><p>“But we’re not a couple,” Mamoru immediately pointed out. Usagi let out a sigh. He turned toward her, but she had glanced away towards the window. </p><p>“No, you’re not. But you’d be surprised how blurry the lines can get when you start pretending to be one. Hence, me,” she pointed a thumb at herself. “Neutral third party.” </p><p>Mamoru suppressed a snort. Minako had never been neutral in anything concerning Usagi. He took a sip of tea and tilted his head toward his would-be-savior. Usagi offered him a gentle smile.</p><p>He felt lost in her gaze and lost the last bits of everything Minako explained. </p><p>Their instructor for the evening kicked his foot, and he started. He looked up into Minako’s disapproving frown. </p><p>“Sorry,” he apologized. “You were saying?” </p><p>“Mamoru-san, this is something that you need to take seriously. You could actually be in serious danger. I am speaking from experience. You may not know this woman who is stalking you. But if she is actually watching you as closely as you suspect, she may know you better than you think and she may see right through this ploy if you don’t make it look real.” </p><p>He cleared his throat, bit his tongue, and nodded for her to continue. “I meant no disrespect, Aino-san. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think you had insight to offer.” </p><p>“You can call me Minako, you know,” she added after taking a sip of her tea. “If you’re Usagi’s boyfriend, you and I should be more casual with one another. And despite how often I give you a hard time, I want you to be okay and to be safe.” </p><p>He felt oddly touched by the admission. He didn’t have a lot of friends in his life, but he treasured the few that he had. </p><p>“Thank you,” he whispered.</p><p>“That’s the only reason I’m letting Usagi do this. It will be easier for you to pretend with someone you already know.” </p><p>He wiped his sweaty hands on the knees of his slacks. He couldn’t imagine doing this with a stranger. “So, you were saying before I got distracted?” </p><p>“Right. Because this Natsumi knows your habits and is watching your every move, you have to make it look real. A twitch or hesitation here and there could give you away completely. Got it?”</p><p>He nodded. </p><p>“I don’t think you do.” </p><p>“Huh?” </p><p>She stood up, and poked him in the side, causing him to flinch. “Look at you! You’re so stiff and tense. Your gorgeous girlfriend is sitting right next to you and you’re a statue!”</p><p>He turned to see the still impossibly quiet Usagi squirm under his gaze.</p><p>“You need to relax,” Minako continued. “Like any time she is near you, just let all the tension flow away, like her very presence is a balm to your soul.”</p><p>“Balm to my soul?” he repeated disbelievingly. </p><p>Minako sighed and turned back to Usagi. “Your ‘boyfriend’ is hopeless.” </p><p>“No he isn’t!” Usagi countered gently. She scooted next to him, looped her arm through his, and rested her head against his shoulder. When he stiffened, she stroked his arm soothingly and he allowed himself to relax. It actually felt really nice to have her on his arm, even if it didn’t mean anything.</p><p>Without thinking, he leaned his head down onto hers. </p><p>“That!” Minako pointed. “That is perfect! It doesn’t have to be a lot. Sometimes just pressing your heads together, or stroking the other person’s hand in comfort can appear more intimate than the hottest make out session. You want to lean into her casual touches rather than pull back from them, okay?”</p><p>“Got it,” he said, trying to lean towards Usagi, allowing their fingers to interlace. He risked a glance towards his ‘girlfriend’. Usagi’s eyes were locked on their hands, but they seemed so far away. She looked wistful, sad. </p><p>He hated it.</p><p>“Hey,” he whispered, looking down at her with concern. “You okay?” </p><p>Startled blue eyes fluttered up at him. “Of course! Perfectly fine!” </p><p>Minako smiled at both of them. “Okay, maybe you’re not completely hopeless, Mamoru-san. That was good. That expression of concern. Do more of that.” </p><p>“I wasn’t pretending,” he objected, feeling it necessary to explain himself.</p><p>Minako smiled at him warmly. It was the first time in his acquaintance with her that she actually seemed to like him. “I didn’t think you were. In fact, the more real you can be, the more real it will look.” She considered them both for a second. “Which brings me to the next part of what we need to discuss. Ground rules.” </p><p>“Ground rules?” he asked.</p><p>Minako sighed again. He had a feeling he was testing her patience. “Mamoru-san, what does it feel like to receive unwanted and nonconsensual attention?”</p><p>He once again felt very aware of the slight itch on his wrist. “Like you’re being hunted. Like you’re never alone and never safe. Like you have no control.” Usagi’s grip on his arm tightened. He turned to her in surprise. She met his gaze, her cerulean eyes swirling in concern. </p><p>“So, in this fake relationship we’re trying to protect you from that, but we don’t want the solution to be more of the problem, right?”</p><p>He nodded. </p><p>“So, we’re communicating. We’re setting boundaries for your sake and for Usagi’s sake to make sure that you agree beforehand what you’re both comfortable with and what you’re not. And we’re doing this for the sake of trying to make this appear as real as possible.” </p><p>He nodded. </p><p>“So, let’s start with something simple. Are you okay with some pet names?” </p><p>“Mamo-chan!” Usagi immediately squealed. And it wasn’t the most manly nickname, but Mamoru couldn’t help but smile at her enthusiasm. The sparkle was back in her eyes and he wanted to keep it there, so he nodded his assent.</p><p>He glanced back up at Minako. She was not smiling. She was staring daggers at Usagi. Usagi just stared back, unflinching.</p><p>“And what will you call her, Mamoru-san?” </p><p>“Uh… Odango A-” </p><p>“No!” Usagi interrupted. “Anything but that! I’m not a dumpling!” </p><p>He laughed, even as he squeezed one of her hair buns. “Are you sure? I thought it was cute.” </p><p>She shook her head emphatically. </p><p>“What about Usako?” The name felt good on his lips. Natural and almost familiar. It rolled off his tongue like a purr.</p><p>But Usagi went rigid against him. Mamoru isn’t sure how he knew, but with one look at her face, he was certain she was about to cry. He’d never really been able to read people very well, though so maybe he was wrong. Or maybe it was because he could feel her against him, when most of the time he wasn’t in physical contact with others. </p><p>He squeezed her hand. “Is that okay?” he asked, uncertainty bubbling uncomfortably in his stomach. </p><p>She looked up and offered a smile. It was hesitant and small, and not at all like her normal joy. But then she slowly nodded, all evidence of potential tears erased from her eyes. </p><p>“I like Usako. It’s cute and sweet,” she agreed. </p><p>“Are you sure?” Minako asked harshly. “Usako and <i>Mamo-chan?</i>”</p><p>“It’s going to slip out anyway, Mina,” Usagi told her. “It’s fine.” </p><p>He glanced back and forth between the two blondes, feeling the tension between them. “Am I missing something?” </p><p>“No.” Usagi quickly reassured, flashing him a megawatt smile.</p><p>“Yes,” Minako contradicted immediately. “You wouldn’t believe how much.”</p><p>Mamoru felt caught between two warring factions. He had no idea what landmine he had stepped on, but he wanted to step away. If only he knew which way to retreat.</p><p>“Was Usako a nickname used by an ex-boyfriend?” he guessed. “I can pick something else.”</p><p>“No!” Usagi shouted, her arms tightening around him. “It’ll be perfect. Just think of Natsumi’s face when she hears you calling me by such a sweet pet name!” </p><p>Minako shook her head angrily. “You make my job absolutely impossible! You know that, right?” </p><p>Usagi sent a beaming smile back. “You love me anyway.” </p><p>Minako grumbled before wilting in resignation. “So that brings us to physical affection. A certain amount of closeness, holding hands and wrapping your arms around another has to happen. We’ve already established that with our greeting. So, let’s jump into the more intimate. Is kissing okay?”</p><p>Mamoru felt immediately contrite at the question. He had already kissed Usagi. He hadn’t asked. And he still wasn’t sure how she felt about it. He glanced at her. </p><p>“Kissing is fine,” Usagi assured quickly. “You know we’ve already kissed.”</p><p>Mamoru blushed. Usagi rested her head on his upper arm. How she knew that he needed the reassurance, he had no idea. </p><p>“Where?” Minako prompted.</p><p>Mamoru stared at her, uncomprehendingly. “Uh… what do you mean?” Where did they kiss? What did that matter?</p><p>“Where are kisses okay? On your hand, face, mouth, neck?” Minako started listing off body parts. </p><p>Mamoru felt the heat spread to the tips of his ears. He felt uncomfortable with the questions. These were not topics of conversation that he delved into… ever, if he was being honest. This once again suddenly seemed so complicated. He wasn’t even sure what he was okay with and what he was not. </p><p>“Mina,” Usagi hissed. “Slow down. You’re overwhelming him.”</p><p>Mamoru somehow felt more embarrassed that Usagi could see through him so easily, but he threw her a grateful smile anyway. She squeezed his knee in acknowledgement. </p><p>Minako sighed for the thousandth time that night. “If you’re going to be physically intimate, you have to talk about it. We have to communicate. We have to make sure that you’re both comfortable with everything that you’re going to do and we have to make sure that you’re comfortable with doing whatever that is in front of other people.” </p><p>He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “You’re absolutely right,” he conceded and then turned to Usagi. “What are you okay with?” </p><p>She laughed, amusement dancing in her eyes. Were they always that blue? “I think the question is Mamo-chan, what are <i>you</i> okay with?”</p><p>He blushed. Of the two of them, he was clearly the more innocent in the realm of sexuality, and it had seemingly taken her two days to have him completely pegged.</p><p>“It’s okay,” she whispered. “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”</p><p>Kami-sama, what had he ever done to deserve someone as wonderful and understanding as Usagi in his life? He wondered not again, why had she agreed to this at all?</p><p>He nodded. “Okay Minako-san, go through all those parts again?” </p><p>They quickly established that kisses on the hand, forehead, and cheeks were okay. Lips too, since they had already crossed that bridge. They would generally aim to keep things chaste, but if they needed to put on a show at a strategic moment, some tongue was allowed. Minako agreed that such displays would be more powerful if they were used occasionally rather than constantly.</p><p>Necks and wrists however, were off limits. It felt too intimate to Mamoru to do that in front of others. Even if he were in an actual relationship, Mamoru thought he would hesitate in those areas while in public.</p><p>“All right!” Minako announced with a clap of her hands. “I think we’re finally getting somewhere. These last set of rules, neither of you get any say in.”</p><p>“What?” Usagi objected. “Why not?” </p><p>“These last three rules are in place to protect your hearts. When you’re acting close and intimate with someone, it’s easy to get confused. This last set is about making sure things don’t get muddled. Just like you keep you might keep your work life and private life separate, you also need to keep your fake dating life separate from your private life.”</p><p>“So first, you may need to practice a bit like we did with your arrival and that’s fine. You may need to practice the cuddling, the casual closeness, even the kissing. But you cannot practice alone. You can practice if you need to, here with me. That is the first rule.” </p><p>“The first rule is no displays of affection when we’re alone,” Mamoru repeated just to make sure that he understood what Minako was asking. </p><p>“Exactly! No holding hands, no kissing, no anything when it’s just the two of you, got it?” her eyes were sharp and threatening. </p><p>“Got it!” Mamoru assured her quickly. He wasn’t sure how he felt about practicing in front of Minako, but he also remembered getting completely lost in that kiss at the Crown. Maybe Minako had a point. </p><p>“Usagi-chan?” Minako prompted when the blonde at his side remained silent. </p><p>He turned to Usagi. She was staring at Minako with focused intent, but he had no idea what she was feeling or thinking. Minako arched a golden eyebrow at her.</p><p>“Fine,” Usagi grumbled. “You win. What’s the second rule?” </p><p>“Don’t lie to one another’s closest friends or family. Especially Usagi’s mom, Mamoru-san. She’ll be thrilled her baby’s found someone, and you’ll break her heart if you tell her this is not real.”</p><p>“Minako!” Usagi hissed. “Mama is fine.” </p><p>“Ikuko-mama doesn’t deserve to be dragged into this, Usagi, and you know it! You need to be honest with your close friends that your relationship is not authentic. Not all your friends necessarily, but the ones you confide in. You don’t want those relationships to be poisoned with dishonesty, <i>and</i> it’s helpful to have someone to talk to about your fake relationship.” </p><p>“I… I wouldn’t have thought of that, Minako,” Mamoru told her with a nod of appreciation. “I am grateful that you insisted on being involved in setting all this up.” </p><p>She beamed at him. “Mamoru-kun!” she crooned. “It’s so wonderful that you recognize my expertise for once!” </p><p>He couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Minako was still Minako. </p><p>“And what’s the last rule?” he asked. </p><p>“No one says “I love you”. It’s just too cruel if you don’t mean it. You think you can do that Usagi-chan?”</p><p>“It’s like you think I have no self-control! That I’m irresponsible and can’t be trusted!” Usagi wailed. “I can follow your stupid rules! You <i>know</i> that I can!” </p><p>Mamoru watched her unexpected outburst, and once again felt like he was missing something. </p><p>“I just want you both to be prepared!” Minako defended. “It’s not as easy as it sounds.” </p><p>Mamoru smiled easily, finally feeling his nerves dissipate. He took Usagi’s hand gently. “I think we can actually do this.” The relief in his voice was palpable. He was going to be able to go home again without having to look over his shoulder constantly.</p><p>Usagi beamed up at him. “Together, we can do anything, Mamo-chan!” </p><p>A grin broke out across his face. He believed her without question. When she spoke with such conviction, how could he not?</p><p>The rest of the evening passed easily, with Minako guiding them through a series of icebreakers to learn superficial things about one another. He really only learned one thing from the exercise. He already knew a lot about Tsukino Usagi. </p><p>She hated waking up at any time, but especially in the morning. She couldn’t stand bullying of any kind. He knew she loved to eat pretty much everything (except carrots; she couldn’t stand those), that she loved video games no matter that she was 22 years old. She was hopeless when it came to being on time and with finances and really anything that could be defined as “adulting”. Her favorite color was pink and her favorite flower was a rose. (She had blushed when she admitted that, but he had already known). She had so many friends and she loved to gossip. And he loved to hear her stories. </p><p>He wondered when he had learned all these things about her. Was it just from listening to her at the Crown amongst their mutual friends? How much of it had she mentioned when she had visited him almost every day during his two-week hospital stay?</p><p>Suddenly, Minako yawned. “I am beat, guys! I need my beauty rest, and the two of you probably shouldn’t be unchaperoned yet, so that means it’s time for you to leave, Mamoru-kun.” </p><p>Mamoru was horrified to note it was after eleven. He had been here for almost five hours! Where had that time gone? </p><p>“Of course! I apologize for invading your space so late” He surged to his feet, only for Usagi to pull him back down from their entwined hands. </p><p>“A practice goodnight kiss before you go?” she asked, her eyes sparkling with mischief. </p><p>He blushed, and glanced at Minako. She shrugged and made a point of inspecting her nails. </p><p>He felt awkward, but he leaned in anyway. Usagi met him halfway with a brush of her lips against his own. He could quickly get used to this. She pulled away just as quickly and released his hand. </p><p>“See you tomorrow, Mamo-chan?”</p><p>He grinned. “Absolutely.” He was honestly looking forward to it. He told himself it was just because he wouldn’t have to be alone when Natsumi came hunting, but he knew that that explanation was only half true. </p><p>He nodded acknowledgement to Minako who waved back playfully, and then showed himself out.</p><p>He arrived home without incident. His apartment suddenly didn’t feel as soothing as it usually did. It was dark and quiet. Too quiet. </p><p>He liked the quiet though, he told himself. But tonight, he was lying.</p><p>Too wired to sleep, he pulled out a notebook and just like he always did when learning a new subject, decided to write down the key points of what he learned from Minako’s lessons. </p><p>
  <i>Rule Number 1: No physical displays of affection when you’re alone.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Rule Number 2: Don’t lie to your closest friends or family about this relationship.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Rule Number 3: No one says “I love you”. </i>
</p><p>It had all <i>seemed</i> easy enough.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time, Usagi and Mamoru finally go on some (fake) dates! Natsumi does not handle this new development well. </p><p>Some very important shout outs: </p><p>1) To TinaCentury who has talked me through my spiraling frustration (both about this story and not about this story) like four times in just the last two weeks. She is a big part of the support group that keeps me sane. This chapter would not be up without her.<br/>2) Similarly, to FloraOne who went through multiple brainstorming sessions with me when this chapter wasn’t doing what I wanted it to. We got there in the end! And she is the one that helped me bring my concept to life.<br/>3) To my husband who is the best partner and best father in the whole world (in my very unbiased opinion). He’s also a big part of this chapter getting posted on time as he’s let me have so many extra writing sessions these last two weeks by taking more than his fair share of turns watching tiny children. </p><p>4) And last, by definitely not least, to Starling Sinclair who has been very understanding and patient with my not having this whole fic quite done on time! It will all get here as soon as possible! </p><p>Reviews/Comments are love!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. (Fake) Dating Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Written for Starling Sinclair. May life cut you some slack someday soon. And in the meantime, hopefully you enjoy this fic? Many hugs and so much love!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>She’ll meet you at the park for your first date. I told her two, but she’s always late. When she gets there, try not to act like an awkward tool!</em>
</p><p>Mamoru sat on a wooden bench, his eyes scanning over the text repeatedly. He was too agitated to appreciate the perfect spring weather or the ephemeral pink blossoms that decorated every tree in his vicinity. His cobalt gaze scanned the park, searching desperately for Usagi’s familiar hairstyle amongst the other park goers. He was simultaneously hoping not to catch sight of a particular brunette before Usagi arrived. He glanced at his phone again. It was currently 2:20, and he was growing more antsy by the second. He wished he knew how late was normal for Usagi because he felt incredibly exposed every moment that he was here alone.</p><p>A hand fell onto his shoulder and he leapt to his feet, every nerve firing in automatic flight mode. When he turned and saw Usagi’s familiar blue eyes, he sagged in relief before clutching her to him.</p><p>“Oh my god!” she said into his chest. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. I didn’t think.”</p><p>“It’s fine,” he murmured into her hair, trying to calm his still-racing heart. “I’ve just been really on edge today.” </p><p>“I can see that,” she observed, her hand moving up and down his arm reassuringly. “Did something happen?” </p><p>He pulled away slightly, cloaking himself in the stoic protective shell that he often wore like armor. “Something did, but I would prefer to talk about it later. For now, I believe I promised you ice cream?” he prompted, trying to smile. There was no point in regaling Usagi with the details of the texts he had started receiving, and kept receiving from new unknown numbers as soon as he blocked the previous one.</p><p>“Are you sure?” she asked, her eyes searching his face. “We can go somewhere else. Somewhere more private maybe, and you can tell me about it?” </p><p>He smiled, feeling surprised by and grateful for her concern.</p><p>“That would defeat the whole purpose, wouldn’t it?” he asked with a laugh. Usagi was supposed to be the solution to this problem. But if he didn’t deploy the strategy, he couldn’t expect it to work. </p><p>“R-right,” she stammered, looking startled. “Ice cream, you said?” </p><p>“That was the plan,” he said, pointing down the path towards where Minako told him the street vendor would be. Usagi turned just slightly from his hold, and suddenly his arm was draped naturally over her shoulder with her hand reaching up to intertwine with his. And they walked down the path in each other’s arms as if it was something they had done a hundred times before.</p><p>Mamoru was pleasantly surprised. He had expected their first date to be at least slightly awkward, but Usagi had a talent for smoothing out his anxious awkwardness as naturally as she breathed. </p><p>He felt himself breathing easily for the first time in the two days since he had last seen her.</p><p>“What flavor are you craving today?” he asked as they arrived at the street vendor.</p><p>She grinned. “I think maybe cookie dough? Or some salted caramel cashew?” </p><p>“Isn’t that one non-dairy?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.</p><p>“Who cares! It’s delicious! The cashews offer just a bit of crunchy texture with the chocolate chips that are a little bitter and then the ribbons of salted caramel add all the extra sweetness. Yeah, I’m going to go with that! Thanks, Mamo-chan!” she exclaimed brightly.</p><p>Mamoru felt his cheeks heat in embarrassment at the vendor’s amused eyes. “Of course, young lady. And for you, sir?” he asked, even as he prepared Usagi’s scoop. </p><p>“Double chocolate fudge,” he said without thought. It’s what he always chose. </p><p>“Excellent choice,” the man commented, handing Mamoru the dark ice cream a few seconds later. </p><p>Mamoru paid for the treat and then he and Usagi joined hands again and continued their stroll through the park. The ground and the trees alike were covered in the blushing pink that came with the new spring. </p><p>“I love this time of year!” Usagi squealed in between mouthfuls of ice cream. “I never get tired of the blossoms. Ooh! Just look at that butterfly.” She pointed excitedly with their joined hands towards a black swallowtail peppered in green dots that fluttered up into the trees. Its green wings contrasted beautifully with the pink petals fluttering down to the ground. “You see so many at this time of year.”</p><p>He smiled at how captivated she was by the small beauty. “It’s called a Tailed Jay, or sometimes a Green Spotted Triangle.” </p><p>“You know what it’s called?” she asked excitedly. “I didn’t know you knew anything about butterflies!” </p><p>“They are a healthy part of any garden. I used to tend a semi-public rose garden as a teenager,” for the orphanage, but he wasn’t ready to tell Usagi about that aspect of his past. But she squeezed his hand comfortingly anyway as if she knew. He felt his shoulders relax; tension that he didn’t even know was there faded away. “I learned a lot about the local insects.” </p><p>She took another lick of her cone, and hummed in pleasure. “Kami-sama, I had forgotten how amazing this is. You have to try it!” she shoved the cold confection into his face. He blushed at the intimacy of her feeding him, and carefully leaned forward to try her cashew ice cream. </p><p>The sweetness of the caramel overwhelmed his taste buds first. The bitter dark chocolate flakes quickly balanced it out. A light cashew cream enveloped all of it; it wasn’t as rich as a dairy blend, but it served as the perfect medium to deliver the other flavors. </p><p>“Wow,” he commented. “I’m pleasantly surprised.”</p><p>“This is why you have to try every single flavor,” Usagi insisted. “Even the non-dairy ones! How else will you really know which one is your favorite? Maybe you haven’t discovered your favorite yet!”</p><p>He grinned. “Your logic is sound.”</p><p>“I know it is. Now, are you going to give me some of yours?” Her sparkling eyes gave away her levity. </p><p>He laughed and tilted his cone toward her obligingly, only for her to squawk in objection when the frozen treat touched her nose. He laughed again. And Kami-sama, it felt so good. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this carefree.</p><p>She grinned evilly. “Mamo-chan! You have to try mine again!” she insisted. He dodged, with a huge grin on his face knowing she was trying to get revenge. But she was fast, and <em>way</em> more coordinated than her clumsy antics had led him to previously believe, and soon he had ice cream spread all over his mouth and nose. He couldn’t stop grinning even though his mouth was starting to physically ache from smiling so much. </p><p>He had just finished wiping the sticky caramel and cashew bits off his face when she put her hands on his shoulders and pulled him down to her eye level. </p><p>“Usako?” he questioned. </p><p>“She’s here,” she whispered against the shell of his ear. Every muscle in his body tightened, his mirth from a second before forgotten. He started to turn, but her hands were already on his face, gentle and yet insistent - keeping his eyes on her. “No, don’t look. You’re okay. I’m right here.” </p><p>She gently caressed the sides of his face, and he stared into her eyes that gleamed with such care and understanding.</p><p>He grabbed one of her hands and pulled it to his mouth, leaving a gentle kiss on the side of her hand. And he knew in that moment it wasn’t a premeditated act. It was a way to say thank you when he was incapable of forming words. It was a way to ground himself when he wanted to panic. And it was a way to remind himself that he wasn’t alone in this moment.</p><p>Her eyes turned glassy, and he knew instantly she wanted to cry. Suddenly, Natsumi was the last thing on his mind. </p><p>“Usako?” he asked softly. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>She closed her eyes and pressed her lips into a thin line. She didn’t open her eyes or speak for a long silence. “I… I can’t explain right now.”</p><p>He nodded and just pulled her closer, tucking her head under his chin.</p><p>Over her head, he watched as Natsumi ran from the park, her hands balled into fists. </p><p>“I think we were successful today,” he commented, pointing to his retreating predator.</p><p>“Really?” Usagi whirled around at his gesture and then laughed. “That was almost too easy!”</p><p>“Are you okay?” he asked her again. </p><p>She offered him a watery smile. “Yes, I’m fine. I’m glad it worked! D-does that mean our first date has officially ended?” </p><p>His throat fell into his chest in disappointment. If he was being honest, he didn’t want their date to be over, but he already felt so guilty for taking up so much of Usagi’s time as it was. </p><p>“I guess it is. Will you let me take you home?” he asked. He tried not to analyze whether he was being selfish or selfless with the offer. He just didn’t want his time with her to be over just yet. </p><p>“I wouldn’t want you to go out of your way,” she said, glancing away from him. “I know I don’t live as close by as I used to.”</p><p>Mamoru rolled his eyes. She was spending an inordinate amount of her time on him. Her apartment could be clear on the other side of the entire metropolis and he’d still gladly take her home. </p><p>“Shinagawa is not that far away. Please let me take you. Minako-san would think I was a terrible boyfriend if I left you to your own devices.”</p><p>She glared at him unhappily. He suspected she wanted to argue, but couldn’t. She finally wilted, and he grinned, knowing he had won. “Fine,” she grumbled at him. “If you insist.” </p><p>They walked in silence to his car. The drive wasn’t any more social, and Mamoru gripped the steering wheel tightly, searching for something, <em>anything</em>, to say. Because he didn’t like Usagi staring out the window, her gaze distant and sad, and he didn’t know what to say to bring her out of it. </p><p>Far too quickly, his car was pulling up to the high rise complex that she and Minako shared. Usagi opened her door. “Thanks for the ride, Mamoru-kun.”</p><p>Ignoring how that change in address already felt like an unexpected blow to the chest, he blindly grabbed for her hand before she could escape the car completely. “Usagi-chan?” Yeah, he didn’t like that either.</p><p>“Yeah?” she said, turning back. </p><p>His fingers automatically intertwined with hers. She stared at their joined hands.</p><p>He snatched his hand back as if burned. <em>Right!</em> <em>Rules!</em> Rule number one was he wasn’t supposed to touch her right now. He swept the offending appendage through his hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to break a rule on the first day.” </p><p>She softened completely, and sat back down. “It’s fine,” she assured. “It may take a bit of time for both of us to get used to this.” Her hands fidgeted in her lap. “So, what did you want to say?”</p><p>“I just... I wanted to say…” that he had a really good time being with her today. Could they maybe do this again sometime after all the fake dating was over? “...thank you. You got her to run in one outing. I’ve been trying for almost four weeks and I’ve never had even a glimpse of that level of success.”</p><p>“Of course. You don’t have to thank me for this. I want you to be okay,” and this time, her hand was on his. And he didn’t want to lose that contact. </p><p>“I don’t know how I will ever be able to make it up to you.” </p><p>She pulled away with a sad smile. He hated that smile, and he hated how often he triggered it more. “You’ll never have to.” Her voice was so soft… like a whisper in the wind.</p><p>And then she was gone, having vanished up the entryway stairs into her building. </p><p>… </p><p>Usagi banged her head against her bedroom wall. </p><p>“God Usagi, get it together!” she yelled at herself, even as the tears flowed unrestrained down her cheeks. </p><p>“Usagi?” Minako’s voice called from the other end of their shared apartment. A few seconds later, her door swung open loudly, light flooding into the previously dark space, revealing her chaotic room filled with scattered clothes, empty plastic ramen containers, hair accessories, and haphazard stacks of manga volumes.</p><p>“Go away! I don’t want to talk about it.” </p><p>Minako ignored the outburst, and instead carefully picked her way through Usagi’s disorganized mess, shoved the puffy pink blanket Usagi had cocooned herself in aside, and wrapped her slender arms around her charge. Despite her words, Usagi let herself melt into Minako’s understanding embrace.</p><p>“You can always talk to me, Usagi,” Minako urged. </p><p>Usagi sighed. “But I don’t want to hear any ‘I told you so’s’ from you,” she mumbled into Minako’s chest.  </p><p>Minako’s arms tightened around her. “I won’t say it then. Did your first date go poorly?” </p><p>Usagi laughed bitterly through her flowing tears. “By every external measure, it was a resounding success.” </p><p>“Stop it! You’re starting to sound like him already. Now, what happened?” </p><p>“Nothing happened. It was nice. And then he kissed my hand. But then I remembered Natsumi was there and I just knew that he did it for show. And my heart broke,” she sniffed. “And somehow he knew. He still knew I was upset and asked what was wrong... and his concern just felt like… it used to. And... I almost said it. I almost told him that I love him. I barely lasted one whole day, Mina!”<br/><br/>Minako rubbed her arms soothingly. “We can stop this anytime.” </p><p>“No!” Usagi barked, bolting upright and glaring at her friend. “It <em>worked!</em> It worked <em>so</em> well! We can’t stop! He is so freaked out, Mina! You didn’t see him when I got there.” She wiped away her tears. “It’s okay. I can do this. I know I can because he needs me.” </p><p>“But what about what you need, Usagi?” </p><p>Usagi let herself settle back into Minako’s warm protective aura. “You being here when I cry. That’s all I need.”</p><p>If Minako disagreed with that assessment, she was smart enough not to argue. Usagi was grateful for that. Instead, she could just soak up the love and comfort from her friend. </p><p>…</p><p>“For your second date, I want Usagi to meet you between your classes,” Minako’s tinny voice told him through his phone’s speaker.</p><p>“That’s not much of a date,” he argued. “Seems rather normal, like meeting a friend for lunch.”</p><p>“Exactly. It’s casual. It’s what normal couples do, Mamoru-kun. Big fancy outings and dinners make it look like you’re trying too hard. Those are for special occasions like anniversaries. Now, tell me where she needs to meet you, and I will make sure she’s on time for once. Because we can’t have a smarty-pants future doctor being late to his classes.” </p><p>“Why does it feel like you’re always making fun of me?” he asked. </p><p>“Probably because I am,” she admitted. “But don’t worry, Mamoru-kun,” she crooned with over-the-top sweetness. “It’s only because I care.” </p><p>“Thanks?” </p><p>“You are most welcome! Now, that address?” </p><p>His anatomy course the next day concluded without incident, and truth be told, he had almost forgotten that he was supposed to meet Usagi during lunch until he entered the high ceilinged student union and saw her sitting at a table by the window. The sun streamed through the transparent surface, lighting up her golden head with an aura of warmth.</p><p>He moved toward her immediately. Her head was buried in a colorful volume of comics. </p><p>“Aren’t you a little old for manga?” he asked, but his smile was fond. </p><p>“One is never too old for manga, Mamo-chan,” she replied without missing a beat. She slipped the book into her bag as she stood up. </p><p>He reached for her with one arm, and her form melted into his side, like she was coming home, like she belonged there. She tilted her head up, and their lips met for a moment. Her mouth was soft and warm and tasted of strawberries. He felt dizzy. </p><p>“It’s good to see you, Usako,” he murmured into her hair. “I missed you.”</p><p>She threw a startled glance at him then laughed a second later, but it sounded hollow to his ears. “It’s only been a day,” she objected.</p><p>“Your point?” he asked with raised eyebrows.</p><p>“I missed you, too,” she whispered. He was lost in her blue eyes that seemed to pierce straight through him. She then seemed to shake herself out of her trance, pulled away just slightly, and gestured grandly to their table. “You only have an hour. And no studying! You need to eat.” </p><p>He reluctantly let her go, but obediently slid into the seat facing the window, opposite her.</p><p>She handed him a box. </p><p>“You brought me lunch?” he asked in disbelief. He usually just ordered whatever the convenience store inside the student union had prepared for the day. </p><p>“Of course! My boyfriend deserves only the best!” she cooed. </p><p>He took the lid off Usagi’s gift and discovered the cutest bento box he had ever encountered in his entire life. The sausages were cut into octopuses. Rice patties were shaped and decorated to resemble cartoon cat faces or stars. Even the carrots were cut into the shapes of flowers. “Did you make this?” he asked, his voice barely loud enough to be heard over the bustle of conversation.</p><p>His companion laughed. “No,” she said flatly. “I’m not that talented or that patient. That is all compliments of Mako-chan.” </p><p>“She didn’t have to do this for me,” he whispered, his eyes locked on the assortment of adorable food. These were the type of bento boxes you gave to children. The kind that he never had as a child. “Please give her my thanks and my appreciation for her talent.” </p><p>Usagi grinned knowingly. “You haven’t even tried it yet!” </p><p>“I don’t know that I can! It’s too cute to eat,” he objected.  </p><p>Usagi fished an octopus sausage out of his box and promptly bit off its head. “The only way to offend Mako-chan is to refuse the food she makes you. It’s how she shows affection.”</p><p>“I didn’t realize Makoto-san held affection for me,” he admitted softly. It was nice being adopted by Usagi’s friend group, even if it was just for show.</p><p>“More than you know. Now eat up!” </p><p>He split apart a pair of wooden chopsticks.  </p><p>“Oh! I also got you a coffee. Black with two sugars.” she nodded towards the paper cup already on the table.<br/><br/>He took a sip gratefully, wondering how she knew his coffee order. He didn’t remember going over that in their meeting. He felt so cared for. If this was what a fake relationship felt like, how much more wonderful would a <em>real</em> one be? He didn’t dare to dream of a real relationship with Usagi herself. That seemed too good to even be possible. </p><p>He cleared his throat, trying to push aside the sudden tightness he felt there. And thought back to Minako’s tips about ‘casual’ dates with his ‘girlfriend’. “So, tell me about your day, Usako.” </p><p>She swallowed her current mouthful of rice. “It was far better than yesterday, that’s for sure! I managed to finish a food vlog for the first job even if it was a day late, and the second one is letting me take an extra three days to complete the promotional video I was doing for them. But because I’m late with both projects, my paycheck will be too. Minako can probably cover all of rent on her own, but I hate relying on her. I don’t want to be a total deadbeat. At least she lets me pay for food. Adulting is so hard. Like seriously, how do people do it? I’m not cut out for it.”</p><p>“Not cut out for what?”</p><p>“Being an adult.” </p><p>He laughed. “You have nothing to fear. I can be adult enough for both of us,” he told her as he ate through his spring-themed carrots.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m totally lucky to have you.” Her eyes turned glassy again, and he wondered, not for the first time, what he had said or did wrong.</p><p>It was awkwardly silent for a moment. Mamoru chewed slowly, not sure what to say to fill the sudden chasm between them. But as always, it was Usagi that filled the void.</p><p>“<em>But</em> the good news is I might have time to finish the paper cranes I was working on before my volunteer shift at the hospital tomorrow. I’m spending time in the pediatric wing this week, and I can’t go there empty-handed. The kids will be so excited to add to their crane collection.”</p><p>The grin bloomed across his face of its own accord and he looked right at her.</p><p>“You are a wonderful person. One of the best I know,” he told her sincerely. Was it too much? He normally would have kept the thought to himself, but he was acting as her boyfriend, right? It was totally appropriate for a boyfriend to say that to his girlfriend, wasn’t it? </p><p>He was delighted when her face turned the color of the cherry blossoms blooming outside.<br/><br/>She glanced away and fidgeted with her chopsticks. “What about you? How were your classes this morning?”</p><p>He shrugged. “I only had one so far. It was fine. Nothing terribly exciting today.”  </p><p>“How’s your internship at the hospital going?” </p><p>“Great! I think it’s my favorite part of the program,” he said. Then he proceeded to regale her with the mundane details, and she listened like it was the most interesting thing she had heard all week.</p><p>And Kami-sama, it was nice. He felt seen instead of invisible. He felt valued and respected, and like he was a part of something special. He <em>really</em> was going to have to reevaluate this whole ‘I’m fine being alone’ thing. </p><p>But would anyone ever be able to compare to the brightness that was Usagi? </p><p>“I guess the only exciting thing that happened this week was I got to sit in on a consultation with a Cardian victim. He seemed fine, though. The senshi apparently healed him right up! It was fascinating! I wish I could meet these senshi. I want to interview them about how their healing abilities work.” </p><p>Usagi put down her chopsticks. She had somehow managed to clear her entire bento box. “Who’s your favorite Sailor Senshi?” she asked with a grin.</p><p>He shrugged, and pulled out his phone. “I never thought about it, but I guess I could find out.”</p><p>“What are you doing?” she asked after several seconds of his attention on the phone. She tried to pull the phone from his hands to see, but he jerked it back. </p><p>“I’m taking one of those quizzes. Which Sailor Senshi are you?” </p><p>He tapped away, trying not to laugh as Usagi attempted to peek over his shoulder at his answers. He finished the quiz and turned the screen towards her.<br/><br/>“Sailor Mercury,” he shared, tilting the screen towards her. </p><p>“What?!” she grabbed for the phone again. “Give me that!” He held it above her head and turned away as he continued to read of the din of the student union. </p><p>“You’re the soldier of water and wisdom! You are a smart, kind, and loyal person whose passion for knowledge attracts all around you. You’re a strategic, not offensive, fighter, which will take you very far in life.”</p><p>Then he surrendered the device to her. He laughed as she glared at the quiz results as if they were personally offensive to her.</p><p>“Who did you want me to get?” he asked, a grin splitting his face like a canyon.</p><p>She held up a finger to indicate she’d be with him in a moment as she tapped her way through the quiz herself. </p><p>“Ha!” she crooned victoriously, handing the phone back to him two minutes later. “This quiz is totally inaccurate anyway.” </p><p>“How do you know?” </p><p>“I got Sailor Venus,” she confided with a shrug, as if that explained everything. </p><p>“How does that make it inaccurate?” he asked with raised eyebrows. </p><p>“Because clearly, <em>I’m</em> Sailor Moon!” she told him with a wink. </p><p>He laughed. “Of course you are,” he readily agreed.</p><p>She smacked him on the arm. </p><p>“Ow! What was that for?!” he asked, but he was still grinning. </p><p>“You’re patronizing me! You don’t actually think I could be Sailor Moon, do you?” </p><p>He caught her arm, enveloped her small hand within his own, and urged her chin up so she was looking at his eyes. </p><p>“Statistically, you’re unlikely to be Sailor Moon. I mean, what are the chances that you or I would know a single senshi in a city of nine million people?” </p><p>“Higher than you might think,” she grumbled.</p><p>“But it’s not that you couldn’t be her,” he continued. “You share many of her qualities. If I’ve learned anything about you in these past few weeks, I know that you are fiercely protective of those you care about. And I know that I do not want to be in your way when you set your righteous fury on anything. And I know that you have so much love to give. It’s honestly inspiring.”</p><p>Her eyes had turned glassy again, but she was smiling, so he didn’t think she was sad this time.  “Really?” she asked, as if she couldn’t believe he thought those things about her.</p><p>“Absolutely.”</p><p>“You’re not just saying that because...?” she trailed off, her blue eyes locked onto his own. And it was like the rest of the cavernous room didn’t exist. It was just the two of them. </p><p>“I meant every word.” She didn’t cry, but Mamoru brushed her cheek anyway with the pad of his thumb. </p><p>She took his hand into her own and kissed his palm. “Thank you, Mamo-chan. You have no idea how much that means to me.”</p><p>He squeezed her hand. It was frightening how natural it now felt to have her this close to him all the time now. How natural it felt to reach for her, and for her to be there. And it was strange how empty he felt, how cold, when she wasn’t.</p><p>It wasn’t until he got home after the rest of his classes that he wondered if Natsumi had been there that day. She had usually made the most regular and frequent appearances during his lunch hour. But he hadn’t thought about his stalker even once when Usagi sat across the table from him. He had just been excited to spend time with her.</p><p>Maybe Natsumi had <em>finally</em> taken the hint.</p><p>... </p><p>“She was there the whole time?” Makoto asked from over a mixing bowl. The brunette was at the dining room table, pretending not to notice every time Minako snuck a fingerful of the batter. Ami and Rei had taken up stations on either side of Usagi on the living room couch. Rei slowly drank from her tea cup, and Ami had put her book upside-down on her lap to save her place, so she could console Usagi through her tale.</p><p>“Yes, but the worst part was that she was staring at us the entire time. Like she didn’t eat or read, or in any way pretend that she was there for another reason. She was completely focused on Mamoru, and me, for a whole <em>hour!</em>” Usagi ranted. “I don’t think she’s going to be as easy to scare as she was that first day. And I’m worried.”</p><p>“She can’t do anything to him while you’re there, Usagi-chan,” Ami reassured, placing a hand on Usagi’s knee. </p><p>“But I can’t be there all the time,” Usagi countered. </p><p>“After this week, we can probably up the amount of time you and Mamoru spend together. It would simulate that exciting honeymoon phase of a new relationship,” Minako suggested.</p><p>“Yeah… It just bothers me!” Usagi exploded. “I guess I can’t fault her tastes, but...” she trailed off with a frown. “I just don’t understand… why would you keep pursuing someone who is clearly not into you?”</p><p>The room was silent for a moment.</p><p>“Maybe some people look for something to control more than something to love,” Rei suggested, finally breaking the quiet. </p><p>Ami nodded in agreement. “Or maybe they are so lonely and they’ve never felt noticed, so they think that’s the only way?” she offered with a gentle pat to Usagi’s knee.</p><p>“Maybe the role models for affection in their lives were all abusive or controlling,” Minako added. </p><p>“That just seems so sad,” Usagi whispered. “Everyone deserves love. But you can’t force it. That is the opposite of love.” The tears bubbled up suddenly in her eyes. As much as she wanted to force Mamoru to remember her, she loved him too much to do that. She blinked them away. She didn’t want to cry right now.</p><p>“Usagi-chan,” Ami consoled softly, pulling her into a sideways hug. Usagi let herself melt into the offered comfort.  </p><p>“Did you have fun?” Makoto asked, breaking the silence and changing the subject. </p><p>Despite her tears, a grin exploded across Usagi’s face and she bolted upright from Ami’s arms. </p><p>"That’s a yes if ever there was one," Rei commented dryly, taking another sip of tea. </p><p>"I had so much fun!” she gushed excitedly. “I told him that I was Sailor Moon.”</p><p>She was met with shocked silence. Usagi tried to keep a straight face. She did, but she didn't last more than a few seconds before the laughter exploded from her. </p><p>The others sagged in relief. </p><p>“So, you didn’t tell him?” Ami prompted.</p><p>“I totally told him. But we were joking around. He didn’t believe me, but that’s not the good part!” Usagi rapidly explained.</p><p>“What’s the good part?” </p><p>“He thought I could be her. Like he said all these nice things about me having some of her traits. And guys, he really meant it. I think he might be remembering.” </p><p>“Or maybe he has developed feelings for you and thinks you’re amazing?” Makoto offered. </p><p>Usagi shrugged. “It’s totally a win either way!”</p><p>“Just be careful, Usagi. You can’t know what he’s actually thinking or feeling unless you ask him.” Minako cautioned.</p><p>Before Usagi could argue, the insistent beeping of five communicators went off simultaneously, shutting down all possibility of a self indulgent evening spent binging on Makoto’s snacks and gossiping with the girls. </p><p>Minako flipped open hers first. “Five blocks west and two blocks north of your apartment, Minako-chan,” Artemis’s voice reported.</p><p>“We’re on our way,” she replied.</p><p>“Can’t they just like, take a month off?” Usagi complained, even as she dragged herself to her feet.</p><p>… </p><p>Usagi’s constant presence quickly became a part of Mamoru’s routine. Minako was no longer needed as a middle man because most of what they did together required no planning. It was what they did every day. They went to The Crown every morning and had coffee before Usagi walked Mamoru to class and disappeared to her freelance jobs. Then she always returned to fill the gaps between his classes. And they spent almost every evening on some public date or another. They went to amusement parks, on boat rides, or just out for ice cream.</p><p>Mamoru was shocked at how much he was enjoying it all. He normally considered himself a private and introverted person. He used to live for the quiet hours alone in his apartment spent reading autobiographies or watching documentaries. But he needed far less of them than he ever suspected when Usagi was there to fill up his day with her smiles, laughter, and attention. He felt like a flower exposed to sunlight for the very first time.</p><p>He had quickly stopped thinking of their dates and time together as a strategy to shake his overzealous admirer loose and started anticipating them as special moments he got to share with his (fake) girlfriend. In fact, he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Natsumi in <em>weeks</em>. Perhaps their subterfuge had already been successful. He was terrified to bring it up with Usagi because he didn’t want this to end. Usagi’s presence filled a hole in his being he hadn’t known was there. Something about her was familiar and comforting. </p><p>So, when he stumbled across a feel-good story in an online periodical, he hadn’t thought about the fact that the novelty was out in the middle of nowhere, not really at all public or prominent where someone would witness them being out and about together. No, he was solely focused on the idea that Usagi would love it! And that he wanted to go there and share it with her.</p><p>He was so eager he asked her first thing over coffee the next morning. “Can I take you somewhere for our next date?” </p><p>Her eyes shot up to his in surprise. “Isn’t that what we always do?” she asked over the synthetic music of the arcade behind them.</p><p>He gripped his coffee mug harder, trying to suppress the desire to fidget nervously. “This is a bit out of the way and more of a time commitment. It's a whole day trip. I found something. Really just stumbled across it in the newspaper. And I really want to show it to you.”</p><p>“Where do you wanna go?” </p><p>“I wanted it to be a surprise?” Was that allowed? Was he allowed to set up a surprise for his fake girlfriend?</p><p>She hesitated, pressing her pink lips together into a line, and he immediately backpedaled. </p><p>“It’s okay if you don’t want to. I thought that it might be a nice change of pace. I don’t mean to take up so much of your time with this whole thing.”</p><p>“No, it’s fine,” she instantly assured him. “What day were you thinking?” </p><p>“Tomorrow?” </p><p>She arched her eyebrows. “Tomorrow? You’re usually a way better planner than this.” </p><p>He felt the heat rise to his face and neck, but said nothing.</p><p>“Yeah,” she agreed. “I can do tomorrow.” </p><p>He couldn’t hold back his excited smile. “I’ll pick you up at nine.” </p><p>“Nine in the <em>morning</em>, Mamo-chan?!” she demanded. “That’s so early! And on a Saturday!” </p><p>He laughed. “It’ll be worth it! Promise!” </p><p>She grumbled. “The things I do for you…” </p><p>His face split into another grin. “Great! You’re going to love it.”</p><p>Despite her complaints, Usagi had been waiting for him in the lobby, and came out onto the sidewalk the second he pulled up to her building. He hoped that meant she was excited too.</p><p>The drive was two hours long. They had talked about small inconsequential things: his last rotation at the hospital, the last video game she had stayed up all night playing, the party she had thrown for her girlfriends. It had felt like no time at all had passed when he was pulling up through the gates and into the crumbling driveway of an old dilapidated mansion.</p><p>When Mamoru parked and turned off the car, Usagi turned to him in confusion. </p><p>“This is it? This is where we’re going?” she asked. </p><p>He laughed. “This is it! Come on!” he urged excitedly, getting out of the car. </p><p>She giggled. “I don’t know if I have <em>ever</em> seen you this excited,” she said as she got out of the car and glanced up at the multistory building. “What is this place? It’s definitely not your usual scene.” </p><p>He offered her his hand. “Come on, and I’ll show you!”</p><p>She took his hand, and he led her to the side of the brick building to reveal a gaping and crumbling hole in the outer wall. They ducked through the unconventional entrance and turned a corner to reveal a torn up courtyard, grass and weeds growing between cracks in the cement. But the best part was the population, which consisted of dozens of cats and kittens of every variety.  From playful grey kittens to grumpy calicos to lounging mink tabbies. They were chasing one another and hiding in the tall grass. Some were eating. Others were lounging in the sun puddles created from the holes in the ceiling. </p><p>Usagi squealed and looking at her face, bright with adoration and excitement, Mamoru was so glad that he had brought her here. Soon they were laying in the grass, tantalizing kittens into pouncing at twigs and long strands of blonde hair. Mamoru had eventually coaxed a black kitten with a white chest into his lap.</p><p>“See!” Usagi said with a knowing smirk. “I told you that one was your favorite.” </p><p>Mamoru caressed the adorable creature, turning it into a little purring motor. “You know me better than I know myself,” he commented with a grin. </p><p>“You’d better believe it!” </p><p>She leaned over and pet the kitten behind its ear, and it leaned into her hand. Within moments, she had coaxed the kitten from him and into her own lap in exchange for endless pets and head rubs.</p><p>“Yeah, he’s kinda my favorite, too,” she whispered. “Total lap cat.”</p><p>Mamoru entertained three others that were pouncing on Usagi’s stationary long tresses that fanned out across the ground. “Looks like he likes you, too.” He looked back up at her glowing face. “I approve of his taste.”</p><p>Mamoru watched her face flush into the color of cherry blossoms in delight. His own heart was pounding loudly in his chest. He reached for her hand and brought it towards his lips. </p><p>Only for an orange striped kitten to strike the moving target their joined hands had provided. Mamoru hissed in sudden pain, and Usagi laughed in delight, even as he shoved the scratch into his mouth to sooth the cut. </p><p>“Thank you for today,” Usagi told him, her voice barely loud enough to reach his ears. “This was a beautiful outing, and I really needed it.” </p><p>Her gaze soaked up the sight of kittens everywhere. She had a soft smile on her face. Her eyes sparkled like sapphires in the sunlight. She had never looked more beautiful. </p><p>“Usako?”</p><p>Her eyes came back to him. “Yeah?”</p><p>He licked his lips, searching for words for everything he was feeling in that moment. “I…” </p><p>“Hello?” </p><p>They both turned to see a brown-haired teenager with her arms filled with a giant bag of cat food. The cats swarmed her instantly with delighted meows and purrs, climbing up her legs and circling her feet while they rubbed against her legs.</p><p>They spent the rest of the afternoon learning about the history of the mansion and its unofficial minor caretaker, Hinata Niko. The girl had explained she had been taking care of the cats there for almost a year, but the building was going to be demolished in the summer. </p><p>“I don’t know if I can find homes for all of them before then.”</p><p>Usagi took the other girl’s hands in her own. “That’s awful. What can we do to help?”</p><p>Niko’s brown eyes watered. “You want to help?” she asked, as if she couldn’t believe it. </p><p>Usagi nodded. </p><p>Mamoru watched, amazed. Usagi could make a connection with anyone in minutes. Somehow that realization made him admire her more, but it also upset him for incomprehensible reasons. What she was doing for him wasn’t that special. She would have done it for anyone.</p><p>Usagi fell asleep on the drive back, and he didn’t mind, though the trip felt ten times longer without her company. She woke up when they were about ten minutes out from her apartment. </p><p>She poked her head up. “How long was I asleep?” </p><p>“Almost two hours.” </p><p>“Oh my god, I’m sorry. You drove that whole thing by yourself. You should have woken me up!” </p><p>“I made you get up early. I thought you deserved some rest to make up for it.” </p><p>She was silent, but he could feel her eyes on him, and he tried not to fidget. </p><p>“Can we grab a milkshake before you take me home? Or are we too close to my complex already?” </p><p>He seized on the excuse. It would cost ten minutes of backtracking and another ten minutes to get there, but he wasn’t ready for their date to end.</p><p>“Of course!” </p><p>And again, with her there, the time flew by. They were at the arcade twenty minutes later, settling into their regular stools, leaning side by side onto the bar.</p><p>“Motoki-oniisan!” Usagi called when they didn’t immediately see the part-timer, her voice over-the-top sweet.  </p><p>Motoki came back from the kitchen. “Hey guys! I was just cleaning up in the back! What can I do for you?” </p><p>“Have you ever thought about adopting a kitten?” Usagi asked without preamble.</p><p>Motoki eyes widened and he didn’t say anything for a second, thrown by the unexpected question. “Uh… no. My apartment is no pets. Why?” </p><p>Usagi pouted. “Mamo-chan took me to a cat orphanage today, and they had dozens of kittens. And they’re <em>soooo</em> adorable, but their home is going to be demolished in two months, and I wanted to try and find them some good homes.” </p><p>“You don’t want to adopt any?” he countered with a teasing smile as his hands worked through the familiar routine of making them milkshakes. </p><p>“I would love to! But I already have Luna, and Minako-chan has Artemis, and you know that I’m terrible with any sort of responsibility.” </p><p>“That’s not true, Usako,” Mamoru argued. “You’re so good at anything that involves taking care of others.”</p><p>He was delighted when red bloomed across her cheeks. </p><p>“But anyway, even if I take one, there are dozens of others. And I don’t mind being the crazy cat lady, but I can’t be <em>that</em> crazy. Which means I need to find as many people as possible!” </p><p>Motoki pushed out two milkshakes towards the pair of them, which Mamoru immediately paid for with no words exchanged. “Tell you what, Usagi-chan. I will put up a sign, and I’ll talk it up with every person that comes through here for the next month.” </p><p>“That would be absolutely <em>amazing, </em>Motoki-oniisan!” Usagi squealed. “You are the best and a lifesaver to potentially dozens of kittens! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Her lips then happily glomped onto the oversized straw and started inhaling the chocolate beverage. Mamoru watched her take so much joy from the simple dessert as he drank his own at a more leisurely pace.</p><p>Her drink already consumed, Usagi told Motoki about the kittens and the girl who was taking care of all of them in her free time.</p><p>Motoki smiled through the tale. “Seems like you guys had a lot of fun.” </p><p>“So much fun!” Usagi agreed. “I’m so glad Mamo-chan discovered the place randomly and decided to take me!” </p><p>A piercing alarm sounded from Usagi’s purse. Mamoru felt the hairs on his neck go up at the sound as she fished her phone out of a deep pink pocket. </p><p>“Shoot! My ride is here. I have to run,” Usagi told them as she slid off the stool. </p><p>“But I thought I was going to take you home?” he asked her, confused. That had been the plan up until two minutes ago. </p><p>She winced. “Yeah, apparently Rei’s grandfather is sick and she needs my help so badly, she drove here herself. She’s waiting outside.”</p><p>“I didn’t know Rei-san had a car,” he commented. </p><p>“She doesn’t. She borrowed it from Yuichiro-kun. Anyway, I really do have to go. We’ll get together soon. Promise.” She stood up on her tip toes and kissed him chastely before dashing out the door.</p><p>Mamoru watched her go with a smile on his lips. </p><p>“I know you’ve got this whole fake dating thing going on,” Motoki interjected into the silence as he finished wiping down the counters. “But be honest. Do you love her?”</p><p>Mamoru frowned at the question. “What? No, of course not. Minako-chan made us agree to all these rules so we wouldn’t fall in love.”</p><p>“Right. And you’re following those rules?” </p><p>“Of course we are!” Mamoru defended.</p><p>Motoki held up his hands in surrender. “You guys are doing an amazing job then. Because you sure have me convinced.”</p><p>It wasn’t until after Motoki left that Mamoru realized that he had lied. Twice in fact. Because no, they hadn’t been following rule number one very well.</p><p>But that wasn’t even the worst transgression.</p><p>Because he was definitely in love with Tsukino Usagi. </p><p>And he had lied to Motoki about it, which meant he had just broken rule number two.</p><p>…</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time, we have some confrontations all around as Natsumi is not quite as gone as Mamoru thinks she is, and Usagi and Mamoru have some secrets they probably should share with one another. Just saying. </p><p>Some very important shout outs: </p><p>Thank you to TinaCentury for giving all the best advice and writing feedback. You have no idea how much her comments help those emotional moments pack just that little bit more of a punch. Or maybe it’s a lot more! All I know, is that I kinda like something, and then after she’s through with it, I love it!</p><p>FloraOne for being patient with me and being an amazing cheerleader every time I managed to squeak out even a measly few hundred new words for this fic. </p><p>Reviews/Comments are love!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Revelations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My goal was to get this out by May 31st. Clearly that didn’t happen, but I hope the chapter was worth the wait! I got bogged down in a ton of cultural research. In this chapter Usagi and Mamoru go to the Sanja Matsuri. Matsuri is the Japanese word for festival. It usually takes place on the third weekend of May. It is the most popular festival of all of them apparently, and I chose it because that was the weekend I wrote the festival scene! Sadly, the Sanja Matsuri was cancelled this year due to the coronavirus. It felt nice to try and let it live on this year in fic if nowhere else! (It has been rescheduled this year for October. Hopefully, that’ll happen). Please forgive me if I got any of the cultural details wrong (though please feel free to correct me!!). I have never been to Japan, let alone a Matsuri. I got most of the details here from reading and watching Youtube videos. </p>
<p>Written for Starling Sinclair! I hope this month has been your best one so far this year!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mamoru suspected he had been in love with Usagi long before he realized it. The question was when had it happened? Was it during their first date? </p>
<p>First <em>fake</em> date, his mind reminded him. </p>
<p>Had it been when her hands had enveloped his face and kept him calm when he panicked at Natumi’s unwelcome presence in the park? Or was it before that? Could his feelings have started as far back as her visits in the hospital when she had regaled him with one impossible story after the next about how he might have lost his memory? Could he have already loved her even then? </p>
<p>It seemed impossible. And it frustrated him that he couldn’t pick out a definite moment, or even a general timeframe. It was almost like his feelings had always been there, and it had just taken him time to recognize it. He was also sick of obsessing over it, but his mind refused to focus on anything besides Usagi for long.</p>
<p>Like right now, he was supposed to be eating his breakfast, but the miso broth with rice on the side had turned lukewarm, and remained almost untouched on his kitchen table. He sat lost in assessing every shared moment with his girlfriend. </p>
<p><em>Fake</em> girlfriend.</p>
<p>He forced himself to shovel the food into his mouth. If he didn’t hurry, he would be late for their weekend date. </p>
<p><em>Fake</em> weekend date. </p>
<p>He uncharacteristically left the dishes dirty in the sink, promising himself he would take care of them the moment he returned home. Then he drove out of the parking garage into the bright clear sky of spring. </p>
<p>It was early enough on a Sunday that there weren't a lot of people out on the sidewalks, but he knew as they got closer to the Asakusa District for the Sanja Matsuri that would change dramatically. Mamoru usually avoided the festivals like cats avoided water. He never felt comfortable in crowds, and the Sanja Matsuri was <em>the</em> festival to avoid, given how popular the event was.</p>
<p>But <em>Usagi</em> had asked him to go. And he coveted every moment with her. Even moments spent in crowded squares with thousands of people. Plus, they were going to support Rei, who was performing in a Shinto ritual in the main parade. He had even volunteered to take a shift carrying the Hikawa’s mikoshi. He would be carrying the portable shrine with a team of dozens of others, on and off over the course of three hours.</p>
<p>He probably hadn’t eaten enough breakfast.</p>
<p>His car pulled up to the front of Usagi’s apartment complex a whole minute early, which was fifteen minutes later than he would have liked to be. Minako and Usagi stood on the sidewalk in plain cotton white pants and shirts. He frowned in surprise. He had expected the two girls to be completely decked out in traditional yukatas with floral patterns. He knew Usagi had a pink one hanging in her closet with red blossoms weaving from the front to the back, and he would be lying if he said he hadn’t been excited to see her wearing it. </p>
<p>On the other hand, they were going to be doing a lot of walking today, so maybe their practical attire, complete with sensible flat-soled boots, was a good call.</p>
<p>Usagi opened the passenger door and slid into the seat beside him as Minako slipped into the back. When Usagi’s hand reached out for him in greeting, he reciprocated without thought. But a second later, his brain spun into overdrive, second-guessing the action. But while his mind panicked, his body relaxed - letting itself just melt into his seat as if it recognized her soft warm touch as home.</p>
<p>Was he somehow deceiving her if he relished in every contact, every brush of their fingers, every chaste kiss? It felt like he was lying to her. He was supposed to be <em>pretending</em>. She was just doing him a favor, he reminded himself. The biggest favor in existence from the nicest girl on the planet, and he was taking advantage of the situation to feel her up. And that guilt settled into his stomach like a ball of lead.</p>
<p>But it didn’t stop him from holding her hand. </p>
<p>Because it also felt so good to have her, to have someone. He had always assumed before that he would be alone, like so many other Japanese men. He had been alone since he had woken up with no memories at eight years of age. It wasn’t a disturbing thought because he had always been alone. It was familiar, and Mamoru always found comfort in the familiar. </p>
<p>But now, it was like life was teasing and tantalizing him with all the things he would never have. Because he had no hope of Usagi returning his feelings. Because he was painfully aware of the fact that his presence often stole away her joy.</p>
<p>“Good morning, Mamoru-kun!” Minako greeted, breaking the moment, her eyes staring at him with an amused glint from his rearview mirror. </p>
<p>He pulled his hand back to shift the car into reverse. “Good morning, ladies! Are we ready to go?”</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>He managed to park in a public parking garage two kilometers from the actual event. They had a twenty five minute walk ahead of them, but with the crowds of people already filling the streets and sidewalks, he knew that it was the closest they would get. But he didn’t mind the distance. It was just more time he got to spend with Usagi.</p>
<p>Festival goers flooded the streets and sidewalks, and the trio initially just followed the flow of the crowd until they were almost to Rei’s meeting spot. When they got closer, Minako pointed out directions from her phone to where the Hikawa team was setting up. </p>
<p>When they arrived, everyone there was wearing grey hanten coats with Hikawa’s red and white emblems.</p>
<p>“Usagi-chan! Minako-chan!” Rei called. “You made it! Thanks for waking up early for me.” </p>
<p>“What about me?” Mamoru asked. “I woke up early too.”</p>
<p>The miko snorted. “You probably slept in,” she commented dryly. And he smiled at the comment. She would normally have been correct, except he had woken up two hours before his alarm and found himself unable to go back to sleep, his mind too well-rested and ready to obsess over his new revelation regarding his girlfriend. </p>
<p><em>Fake</em> girlfriend.</p>
<p>Rei held out the hanten coats for each of them. Usagi’s coat swam around her petite form, making her look even smaller and more adorable than she always did. And Mamoru found himself grinning at the sight until Minako elbowed and pointed her chin at his coat that was hanging motionless from his hand, her eyes sparkling in amusement.</p>
<p>He rapidly moved to put on his own coat, the thick stiff uniform adding a needed layer of padding to his shoulders. </p>
<p>“Do you want to see the mikoshi?” Rei asked as soon as he had tied his coat closed. </p>
<p>“Yes! Positively absolutely!” Usagi exclaimed, clapping her hand once in her excitement. </p>
<p>Rei led them past their team and between two buildings to where the miniature shrine was supported by several wooden folding stands. The portable shrine resembled a luxurious small chariot with gold framework, covered in red cords, bells, polished mineral stones and gems, and shiny lattice work. </p>
<p>It was the size of a small car. And Mamoru was going to help carry it through the parade for three hours. He was likely not ready, but he was a little excited for the opportunity to test his own strength. </p>
<p>“Rei-chan, it’s so pretty!” Usagi gushed, her eyes the size of melons.</p>
<p>“It’d be lovely to be carried around in it all day,” Minako added, her hands admiring the work of art directly.</p>
<p>“A vehicle fit for a god,” Mamoru agreed. </p>
<p>Rei turned to him with narrowed eyes. “You’d better not be mocking this shrine, Mamoru-baka.”</p>
<p>He raised his hands in innocence. Before he could defend himself further, the deep beats of the drums thrummed through his chest. There was a sudden flurry of activity as everyone wearing identical team coats swarmed into their places. </p>
<p>“You’re lucky duty calls, but I’m watching you,” Rei called even as she joined the other shrine maidens with the drummers in a line in front of the mikoshi.</p>
<p>A moment later, half the shrine maidens lifted flutes to their lips and joined in on the drumline. Mamoru watched in amazement as the musicians danced even as they played. </p>
<p>Two measures into the song, the other half of the mikos moved gracefully into the dance, echoing the movement of the musicians. It was a traditional Shinto prayer ritual that Mamoru had seen videos of before, but he had never been to a live performance, and he couldn’t help but admire the performers’ grace, synchronization, and elegance. </p>
<p>He watched, mesmerized, until someone tapped him on the shoulder. </p>
<p>“It’s almost time, mikoshi carriers! Positions please!” </p>
<p>Dozens of people crowded around the golden shrine, forming a line for each wooden beam that the chariot was built on. Mamoru quickly stepped into his designated spot on the second beam from the left.</p>
<p>He hadn’t expected Usagi to slip in right behind him. He gawked at her in shock. He knew when she put on the hanten coat that she was going to be in the parade, but he had thought she would play an instrument or walk with the team as a cheerleader. He never even considered that she would volunteer as a mikoshi carrier. And she wasn’t the only one. Makoto and Minako took up positions on one of the outer beams as well. But Makoto had a solid stance and frame and could no doubt carry as much weight as any man. And Minako at least had her height going for her.</p>
<p>But Usagi - she seemed so tiny next to most of the Mikoshi carriers, let alone the portable shrine itself. </p>
<p>“Are you sure you can handle this?” he shouted over the pulsing music.</p>
<p>Her pink lips twisted into a smirk, and her eyes flashed up at him. “You worry about your own load, Mamo-chan. I will take care of mine.”</p>
<p>Red flags shaped like round leaves waved ahead of them, and everyone prepared to lift the mikoshi - shoulders underneath the supportive lengths of wood while crouched closer to the ground. The flag spun again, and as one, the team stood up with a grunting warcry, lifting the shrine from its resting temporary base. </p>
<p>The wooden beam immediately nestled painfully into his shoulder like he suddenly held the weight of a mountain. His whole chest wanted to collapse into his abdomen with the sudden pressure, and he had to focus to continue breathing deeply. </p>
<p>They hadn’t even taken a step yet. What on earth had he signed up for? </p>
<p>“Wasshoi!” the flag holders shouted out.</p>
<p>“Wasshoi!” the team echoed back, while taking a step forward. </p>
<p>They quickly moved into a steady rhythm where each synchronized step matched the raising of the flag. As they moved forward on the parade route, Mamoru saw none of it. It took everything in him to keep every muscle in his torso flexed so that he could keep breathing to manage another step forward with each wave of the red flag. He partook in the meaningless chant - it kept him in rhythm. It helped him immensely that Usagi’s voice was the loudest in his ears in time with the beating drums of protesters, encouraging him to just keep moving one foot in front of the other. </p>
<p>It didn’t take long before the cutting pain in his shoulder faded as the whole area went numb. Every few minutes, the mikoshi carrier in front of him stepped forward leaving an empty space. Mamoru was always quick to move forward to fill it. Finally, he was at the front of the line, and he sucked in a breath at the view before him. </p>
<p>In the few festivals he had attended in the past, Mamoru had always participated as part of the crowd. Amongst the press of bodies on the side of the street, he hadn’t always had the best view of the parade. As a young child, he had to push between other festival attendees or as an adult, jump above the crowd for a momentary view of the army of color and music marching past. </p>
<p>But now, he was a part of it without any barriers blocking his vision. The performers in front of him danced in perfect synchronization like they were all parts of one singular entity - red ribbons arcing intricate patterns that echoed the song of the flute, punctuated dramatically by the deep beat of the drums. It felt like he was watching a dynamic living creature as it celebrated life.</p>
<p>Contained only by the even lines of eager matsuri festival goers on either side of the street, chanting and cheering, the procession marched onward. </p>
<p>He almost regretted it when the team leaders signaled him off the mikoshi for his break. He reluctantly let go of the beam and moved forward, giving Usagi a chance in the lead. He circled dutifully back around the mikoshi to the end of the line of reserves to go again when the carriers moved forward again.</p>
<p>The muscles of his back, chest, and shoulders trembled and spasmed now that they were free from the load of carrying the shrine. Now, the miniature golden chariot was in front of him and he could look at nothing else. He respected it more now - was in awe of it. And he had just been a part of transporting it all the way to the Thunder Gates. It was invigorating. </p>
<p>Usagi stepped in behind him in the reserves a few minutes after he had joined the end of the line. </p>
<p>“How are you fairing?” he asked her, yelling to be heard over the din. </p>
<p>“Never better!” she shouted back. And he had to hand it to her. She looked vibrant and alive with accomplishment like she was fresh from a workout at the gym, not like her whole back and shoulder were on fire and ready to collapse.</p>
<p>He turned and leaned into her space. “I’m starting to believe you might be stronger than me,” he commented right into her ear.</p>
<p>She grinned and looked right up at him. “You might be right! Is that intimidating to you, Chiba Mamoru?” </p>
<p>His lips burst into an uncontrollable smile. “I find it rather hot, actually.”</p>
<p>He was rewarded with her flaming red cheeks. And Kami-sama, he loved being able to affect her this way. The only problem was, it gave him hope. </p>
<p>And hope? Hope was dangerous. </p>
<p>Before he could mire too deeply into that mental spiral, it was his turn to take up the wooden beam again to support the mikoshi for another round. </p>
<p>The process lasted for hours. The pain in his shoulder seemed to seep deeper into his shoulder and back with every round. And by the third pass, he had realized that he definitely was <em>not</em> conditioned for this <em>at all</em>. Really, the lovely woman behind him chanting “wasshoi!” again and again was the only thing that kept him moving forward. But every time he reached the front of the line, he felt a burst of warmth and pride in the accomplishment all over again.</p>
<p>It was a shock to his system when they arrived at their first destination, and the mikoshi was carefully set down on its hastily assembled wooden stand once again. As soon as the shrine was secured, the team swarmed one another. Dozens of men and women in matching coats congratulated each other with brilliant smiles, peace signs, and friendly exuberance. He was soon lost in the crowd, grinning so much from one person to the next that his mouth was starting to hurt. </p>
<p>A bowl of ramen with egg and vegetables was shoved into his hands by an older woman with stern orders that he needed to get his strength back up after such a physical ordeal. <br/><br/>And it was only in that instance, when he turned to share his food with his companion, that he realized that he had lost Usagi. He glanced around in sudden anxiety looking for the familiar golden odangos. The crowd suddenly felt oppressive and suffocating. Even the indistinguishable chatter pressed in around him. He couldn’t move without bumping into someone. He felt trapped. </p>
<p>“Mamoru-kun,” Rei’s familiar voice called to him from behind, and he whirled towards her. Her dark eyes flashed violet, and her arm clamped over his own. “You’re okay.” </p>
<p>Her assurances did nothing to soothe him. </p>
<p>“She’s okay, too,” she pointed slightly over her own shoulder. “She’s right there with Minako.” </p>
<p>His panicked gaze landed on the two blondes deep in seemingly serious conversation, and he could breathe once again. He forced himself to breathe more deeply before flashing Rei a grateful smile, surprised that she had so quickly grasped onto what he needed. </p>
<p>“I’m surprised Usagi didn’t remember that you’re not a huge fan of crowds,” the miko commented, as she led him out of the throng and over to their friends.</p>
<p>Before he had time to question how Rei knew that about him, Usagi was right in front of him, throwing her arms around him, her warmth calming the vestiges of his anxiety.</p>
<p>“You were amazing, Mamo-chan!” she gushed into his ears. “I’m so proud of you.” </p>
<p>“You’re stealing my lines,” he grumbled. “I have never been so floored. If I’m completely honest, I would not have thought that you could do that.”</p>
<p>“Oh you have no idea, Mamoru-kun,” Minako commented. “Our Usagi-chan is full of hidden strength.”</p>
<p>Mamoru allowed Usagi to pull away from his embrace enough so that they could turn towards Rei and Minako, but he kept one arm over her shoulders.</p>
<p>“You too, Minako-chan,” Mamoru complimented with a nod of acknowledgement. </p>
<p>“Why thank you, Mamoru-kun!” Minako said brightly. Too brightly, as if once again, she was mocking him. But whatever the joke was it went right over his head. “I’m delighted you think so.”</p>
<p>Makoto joined them, tapped Minako on the shoulder, and nodded her chin towards the crowd. Minako followed her gaze with a small frown. Before Mamoru could follow suit, Usagi pulled on his hand and stole his attention.</p>
<p>“That was hard work!” she exclaimed. “I’m famished! Do you want to check out the snack area with me?”</p>
<p>“Did you not get any of the ramen?” Mamoru asked.</p>
<p>“Oh, I did! I had two bowls actually!” Usagi told him, unabashed. “But I need more! And I hear there’s a whole square around here just filled up with snack stalls. And it would be an absolute travesty to miss out on that.” </p>
<p>The girls laughed, and even Mamoru smiled fondly. He had no idea where she put all the food she managed to tuck away. </p>
<p>Minako waved them off. “Go feed her again, Mamoru-kun. We’ll all catch up with you later.” </p>
<p>After some farewells to the team coordinators who gushed to both of them with gratitude, he and Usagi walked another few blocks together amidst the cacophony of music and drunken laughter. Her hand was nestled into his own, as she carefully picked her way through the sea of people, guiding him in her wake. As they moved away from the main parade route, the crowd thinned out, and Mamoru was relieved to find that they could at least walk freely again. Despite that, his and Usagi’s fingers remained interwoven together. </p>
<p>As they entered the snack area Usagi’s attention darted from stall to stall, her eyes wide in excitement, pointing to whatever had caught her eye. Mamoru noticed none of it too absorbed in watching <em>her</em>.</p>
<p>“I could really go for some taiyaki,” Usagi squealed. “Such cute little fishes with the sweetest cream filling. Or maybe they’ll have one with nutella! But then the yakitori smells <em>so</em> good! And the takoyaki is always amazing! How am I ever going to decide?” </p>
<p>He laughed. “I’m sure you’ll manage.”</p>
<p>She turned to him with a pout. “You don’t understand,” the blonde whined. “This isn’t some ice cream vendor that I can come back to every week! This is a once a year event! And I will have to live with my choice!” </p>
<p>Mamoru couldn’t help the smile that bloomed across his face as he watched her warring decisions flash across her face. He did not point out that all these vendors likely had storefronts somewhere in the district, or at least the city. All she needed to do was ask for a card, if they didn’t hand her an ad or flyer unprompted. She took such joy in simple pleasures, not unlike a young child. She knew how to be so present in the moment, a skill he had never developed, but when he was with her, he felt like he could experience that same childlike joy. He wished he could spend the rest of his life sharing these moments with her. </p>
<p>Mamoru tried to stamp down the thought. He was falling too deeply. How was he going to survive when this was all over?</p>
<p>“Mamo-chan?” her soft voice brought him back to the moment. Her brows were furrowed in concern. “What’s wrong?” </p>
<p>He tried for a reassuring smile, but her frown remained, so it couldn’t be that convincing. “Usako, how long are we going to keep this up?”</p>
<p>She looked like she had been hit with a high speed train, her eyes were wide and she just stared at him for a moment before they continued walking again. Three paces in she found her voice again. “I… I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you wanted it to end.” She glanced around. “This isn’t your scene at all, is it?” she licked her lips, and her gaze dropped to her booted feet. “Has someone… caught your eye? I... I wouldn’t want to be in the way.” </p>
<p>Someone <em>had</em> caught his eye. How could she not <em>see?</em> <em>She</em> had caught his eye. </p>
<p>She wasn’t looking at him anymore, her blue gaze locked on the colorful stalls covered in banners and advertisements for festival food that they passed by. He tried to dismiss the sudden tightness in his chest as the aftermath of carrying the mikoshi for hours, but he knew he was only lying to himself. She was so willing to give up her place as his girlfriend. He had hoped… </p>
<p>It didn’t matter what he had hoped, he told himself. She was <em>pretending</em>. He couldn’t be her boyfriend when every time she laid her crystal gaze on him, her whole world seemed to dim. Like he was a bug that leeched all her zest for life away. </p>
<p>Even now, her eyes wouldn’t meet his own, her body tense under his hands, and her head drooped and sullen. Usagi deserved better than this.</p>
<p>“No, nothing like that,” he confided, caressing her captured hand. “I have really enjoyed our time together, Usako.” She had no idea how much. He loved the feeling of her name on his lips, her tiny hands threaded through his own, and the smell of her hair. “I just feel bad for taking up so much of your time and attention.” Because she deserved to be free. Deserved to have a real boyfriend to dote on her. Instead of a pretend one that was lying to her every time he held her hand.</p>
<p>“Well,” Usagi began, twiddling with the ends of her hair in her free hand. “I figured we should keep going at least a few weeks after Natsumi isn’t a problem anymore.”</p>
<p>His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Hasn’t she already been gone for weeks?”</p>
<p>Usagi stopped in her tracks and stared at him. They were standing in the middle of the pathway, forcing people to weave around the sudden obstacle they had created. “Mamo-chan, she’s here right now; she’s been tailing us since we carried the mikoshi. It’s why Minako had us go up ahead. They’re going to try to distract her, so that we… you could make a clean getaway.”</p>
<p>Mamoru’s cobalt eyes drilled into the petite woman in his arms, his brain spinning to process her incomprehensible words. Natsumi was there. How had he missed her? He hadn’t seen hide nor hair of his stalker in months, but now the familiar feeling of being hounded clamped down around him. But this time, it was tempered with warmth brought about by the fact that Usagi’s friends were going out of their way to protect him. That they were so prepared and coordinated brought up another question. </p>
<p>“And you’ve seen her at some of our other outings?” he asked.</p>
<p>She frowned, and squeezed his hands as the flow of people still moved around them like they were a rock in the middle of a creek. “Mamo-chan,” she started gently, “she’s been to every one of our dates with the exception of the cat orphanage.”</p>
<p>The information struck him like a club to the back of the head. He usually considered himself pretty aware of his environment, so how had he missed his stalker so completely, not just once, but on <em>every single date?</em> Even at their very first one, he hadn’t noticed Natsumi until Usagi warned him that she was there.</p>
<p>And then suddenly, he wasn’t afraid anymore. With Usagi there, Natsumi couldn’t do anything to him. Usagi’s sunshine radiant presence was enough to banish all the ills of the world. And maybe now in this moment, he was even grateful that he had stumbled into the brunette’s line of sight. Because without her overzealous attempts to own him, would he ever have gotten to share this one-on-one time with Usagi? Would he have ever known what love truly felt like? </p>
<p>Even if he didn’t get to keep it. Even if it wasn’t real for his protector, he was so grateful to have her in his life. Even if she didn’t want to actually date him, he was now forever her friend because they had definitely grown closer since this whole fake dating thing started. </p>
<p>“Did you not notice?” Usagi asked, her voice not really loud enough to carry over the volume of the matsuri, and yet he somehow heard her anyway.</p>
<p>“I… I guess I didn’t,” he admitted with a smile, raising her hand to his lips. “I guess I have been having too much fun,” he commented and then placed a soft kiss on the side of her hand, his eyes never leaving her gaze. </p>
<p>Her eyes trembled like ocean waves in a storm.  </p>
<p>He lowered their joined hands, though their fingers remained tangled, and pressed his lips to hers. He melted into her, breathed in the sweet scent of her lip gloss, lost himself in the warmth of her body pressed into his own, relished in the sensation of their joined hands tightening around one another. He wanted this; he wanted it <em>every single day</em> of his life.</p>
<p>He pulled back a hair’s width to gauge her reaction. Her body shook in his palms. Her eyes blazed with an intensity he couldn’t interpret with a glassy quality that threatened tears. He stroked the side of her face, hoping he could banish away her sadness. He couldn’t keep doing this. He couldn’t keep touching and kissing her without her knowing that his intentions were less than honest.</p>
<p>“Usako,” he breathed, their noses still only two centimeters apart. “I need to confess something.”</p>
<p>“Y-yes?” </p>
<p>But before he opened his mouth, terrified screams tore through the happy festival air. The shrill cries were far too close, but he saw no sign of threat. But people ran into his line of vision from behind him. He had started to turn when Usagi was ripped from his arms with a startled cry, and thrown ten paces away straight into the nearby taiyaki stall. She flew through the wooden stand like a rock through tissue paper. </p>
<p>Her body lay there on the ground, crumpled, still, with her tiny boots poking out from beneath the pile of wooden debris and destroyed pastries. His heart stopped beating, he forgot how to breathe, and his ears rang as his world zeroed in on the petite form of the woman he loved, seemingly lifeless on the ground in front of him.</p>
<p>He still wasn’t certain when Usagi had become the most precious person in the world to him, but he knew that somewhere along the way she had. </p>
<p>He might have just lost her in two nightmarish seconds.</p>
<p>And he had never told her how he felt.</p>
<p>Mamoru had no name for the eight foot tall beast that lumbered past on two thick and stocky feet. Brown and patchy hide covered its form, and it was headed straight for Mamoru’s fallen love. </p>
<p>And something within Mamoru woke up at the sight. Adrenaline boiled through his veins, bringing him strength he didn’t know he had. He barrelled into the monster’s side, sending them both crashing into the adjacent stall. Splintered wood exploded around them.</p>
<p>Mamoru quickly rolled to his feet, swept up a makeshift wooden lance from the debris that littered the ground, and stood protectively in front of his beloved. </p>
<p>The beast was slower to come to its feet. Snarling in fury with thick saliva dripping from teeth that neared six centimeters in length, it let out a deafening roar. </p>
<p>Mamoru launched himself at the monster, stabbing down into the creature's thigh, but his makeshift weapon collapsed under the force of his thrust. His opponent’s arms of pure muscle swung wildly in retaliation. Mamoru dodged down and to the side, feeling inept and clumsy as each retreat forced him more off balance. Until finally Mamoru’s luck ran out and a blow connected. He was cast backwards over Usagi’s prone form like he was nothing more than a grain of rice.</p>
<p>Mamoru fought to restore the air that had fled his lungs at his landing. Pain lanced up and down his body, but he had no time or attention to spare. He needed to stand up. He needed to get in front of Usagi. </p>
<p>But he was too slow. The creature was already charging, growling, and screaming an animalistic warcry. </p>
<p>And just when Mamoru thought it was too late, a senshi landed in a protective stance in front of him and his love, and released an arc of electricity into the charging beast. Its muscles spasmed and it whimpered. </p>
<p>The unpleasant smell of burnt fur suffocated him. The creature growled in a crouch, preparing to pounce once again, but Jupiter was faster. She leapt forward and tackled the creature, throwing it away from the civilians on the ground. </p>
<p>Mamoru collapsed to the ground in relief. </p>
<p>Despite his pain, he couldn’t rest. Not with Usagi lifeless and defenseless on the ground. Not knowing if she still drew breath.  </p>
<p>He crawled over to the unmoving blonde, frantically tossed the planks of wood and taiyaki ingredients aside, revealing her heart shaped face, marred by half a dozen scratches. He lowered his cheek to her mouth even as two fingers pushed into her neck.</p>
<p>His heart soared when he felt the sliver of air from her lips. Her pulse was also strong and steady. </p>
<p>In front of him, Jupiter had been joined by two other senshi. Mars and Venus. He was distantly aware of their shouted orders and colored flashes of power.</p>
<p>He examined Usagi’s body with the trained eye of a professional even as his heart fell into his gut in anxiety. Scrapes and red lesions that would no doubt turn into dark purple bruises with time, covered her body. But no limbs were out of place, nor did she have any gushing wounds, though he could not rule out any internal injuries. </p>
<p>Sailor Mercury arrived with a blast of ice. Sailor Moon was still noticeably absent, and he found as more time passed and the Senshi made little progress in defeating the monster, he resented the heroine for it.</p>
<p>His fingers gently traced Usagi’s skull. The right side of her skull, where the temporal and parietal lobes met, was swollen and hot. She whimpered at his touch. </p>
<p>With the sign of consciousness, he took his first easy breath, a relieved smile blooming across his face, even as tears fell from his eyes.</p>
<p>“Usako? Can you hear me?” He brushed a finger across the apple of her cheek.  </p>
<p>The blonde in his arms groaned, and a hand batted absently at his face. “Five more minutes…” she whined. </p>
<p>The lump in his throat dissolved with a watery laugh, and he pulled her closer to his chest, his tears falling to her face.</p>
<p>Her eyes fluttered open and struggled to focus on him. “Mamo-chan?” </p>
<p>For one breathtaking moment she smiled up at him, and everything was right with the world. </p>
<p>A loud crash brought them back to reality as another stall shattered into splinters of wood. Usagi immediately sat up, swaying slightly even within his supportive hold. </p>
<p>“Careful,” he urged. “You hit your head pretty hard. You might have a concussion.” </p>
<p>“W-what happened?” She glanced up. And her eyes widened at the battle taking place before them. Waves of ice and fire seemed to anger more than hurt the creature. Lightning and golden lasers fared no better. Then a wild punch sent Sailor Mars crashing to the ground. Usagi scrambled from his hands in an attempt to stand. </p>
<p>“What are you doing?” he objected harshly, pulling her back down.</p>
<p>“I have to help!” she screeched, trying to brush off his restraining hands. Fortunately, in her current state she was easy to subdue.</p>
<p>And then, just as suddenly, she proved him wrong with an impossible twist that forced him to release her. She took a shaky step forward before she swayed unsteadily, and he caught her once again.</p>
<p>“Are you crazy?! Look at you! You can barely stand!” </p>
<p>She jutted her chin out stubbornly, and she struggled for her freedom again. This time, he was more prepared for her tricks using all of his weight with his arms around her to prevent her from leaving.</p>
<p>“Let the senshi take care of it,” he begged.</p>
<p>“You don’t understand!” she screamed through angry tears. “They need me!” </p>
<p>“You just hit your head! And what could you possibly do to help them?” he countered. </p>
<p>At that moment she stopped struggling and turned to him. Her eyes pierced into his, penetrating into the depths of his soul. “Do you trust me?” she asked. </p>
<p>And he felt helpless at the question. “Of course!” </p>
<p>“I need you to let me go,” she whispered. </p>
<p>His grip on her evaporated immediately. </p>
<p>She glanced around them furtively. Then she looked right at him and winked. And before his very eyes, her festival garb melted away. Ribbons of light caressed her form from head to toe, leaving behind the familiar white leotard, knee high red boots, and golden tiara. </p>
<p>And then it was Sailor Moon that was standing before him instead of his girlfriend.</p>
<p><em>Fake</em> girlfriend. </p>
<p>Mamoru didn’t remember falling to the ground, but he was definitely looking up at the most powerful senshi from a prone position on the cement.</p>
<p>“I… How…?” he stuttered. </p>
<p>The Lunar Guardian kneeled down on the ground in front of him. “I will always fight to protect you,” she told him gently, her white gloved hand cupping his face. And then she bounded over him in a single leap and joined the fray. </p>
<p>He lost the ability to breathe for the third time that day. </p>
<p>He watched, his jaw falling to the floor with every punch, kick, acrobatic dodge, and blast of power she released. </p>
<p>Mamoru sat unmoving, a useless idiot in the middle of a battlefield. He couldn’t have moved if he tried.</p>
<p>He was fake dating Sailor Moon! <em>Sailor Moon</em> had taken care of him in the hospital, befriended him, and taken pity on him when he was being stalked. And Kami-sama, he was in love with fucking <em>Sailor Moon</em>. </p>
<p>The five senshi worked together in such perfect coordination it looked like magic, and within moments of the team’s reunion, managed to pulverize the creature into black dust and a smoking slip of paper.</p>
<p>He watched in horror and panicked nerves when Sailor Moon and the others took off, bounding over rooftops and into the distance in the <em>wrong direction</em>, leaving him sitting alone in the shambled aftermath of the paranormal altercation.</p>
<p>All things being considered, there weren’t a lot of casualties. Only the three snack stalls were smashed, and besides himself and Usagi, it didn’t look like anyone else had been hurt. The senshi were amazing.</p>
<p><em>Sailor Moon</em> was <em>amazing</em>.</p>
<p>He gave a start when a gentle hand landed on his shoulder. And he looked up to find Usagi there back in her hanten coat, smiling at him reassuringly as she helped him to his feet.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?” she asked him, her voice gentle with concern.</p>
<p>He nodded dumbly. </p>
<p>She smiled again, looped her arm through his own, and continued their stroll as if nothing out of the ordinary had transpired. A second later, she frowned as her eyes landed on the stall her unplanned projectile path had annihilated.</p>
<p>“Ah <em>man</em>,” she whined. “I guess taiyaki is out for today then.” </p>
<p>He blinked at her in disbelief. “Usako… what just…?” </p>
<p>She silenced him with a finger to his lips. “We can’t talk about this here.” </p>
<p>“But…” </p>
<p>She shook her head firmly. </p>
<p>“A-Are you okay?” he asked instead, his hands cupping the side of her head again, looking for evidence of injury. The scratches on her face and arms were almost invisible as if they were injuries from a week ago instead of twenty minutes prior. The bump on her skull was still there, but had receded to half its original size.</p>
<p>She grinned at him like she hadn’t been sent flying through a solid wooden board, like she hadn’t been lying unconscious on the ground not an hour ago, like she hadn’t just fought off a gargantuan beast four times her own size. “Never better!”</p>
<p>He wanted to argue. There was no way that could be true. She had just been thrown - farther than he had ever seen, knocked completely unconscious. Then engaged in combat while possibly suffering from a concussion. How could she be so nonchalant about this?</p>
<p>“Please, stop worrying,” she begged. “I promise you, I’m fine.” </p>
<p>He laughed cynically. “I’m not going to stop worrying. Probably not ever, now.”</p>
<p>Before she could respond, Usagi was suddenly surrounded by her best friends that had popped out of the crowd from nowhere. And as his eyes assessed each of the four girls, he realized these were the Sailor Senshi. He knew <em>all</em> of the senshi through Usagi. It was incomprehensible.</p>
<p>“Usagi-chan,” Rei crooned, with a palm to the blonde’s forehead. “You look tired.”</p>
<p>Usagi ducked under the miko’s hand. “I’m fine, Rei-chan. Promise.”</p>
<p>The other three girls looked as skeptical as he felt. </p>
<p>Minako's fierce gaze pinned him in place. “Mamoru-kun, be a gentleman and take her home?” It wasn’t a request. It was an order. <em>Sailor Venus</em> was giving him an order. </p>
<p>He nodded quickly.</p>
<p>“Excuse me!” Usagi objected, throwing her hands up in the air. “I’m right here! And I’m more than capable of making my own decisions!” </p>
<p>“How will you get back?” Mamoru asked Minako. </p>
<p>“Am I invisible? Can you hear me?” Usagi demanded hotly. </p>
<p>Minako smirked. “Don’t worry about me. I have my own ways of getting around.”</p>
<p>If he wasn’t still reeling, he probably would have snorted at that. Other ways of traveling, indeed.</p>
<p>“Wait! I didn’t even get my snack!” Usagi argued. </p>
<p>At that exact moment, Makoto handed her two skewers of yakitori. “I know you’re partial to the sweets, but I thought some protein would be in order today.” </p>
<p>Usagi bit into the first one immediately. “Would you all stop mothering me, please?!” she shouted at them through the mouthful of food. “I’m fine!” </p>
<p>Ami stepped forward at that point, taking Usagi’s hands into her own. “Usagi-chan, we don’t mean to step on your toes and I know you hate it when we make decisions for you. But you <em>did</em> just suffer a concussion, and then use a lot of energy before you were even close to fully healed. My scans showed that you’re healing quite nicely, but you’re not healed yet. We would all like to err on the side of caution, and make sure that you are able to fully recover. If something happened because you didn’t rest up, none of us would be able to forgive ourselves.”</p>
<p>Usagi wilted. “I hate it when they make you be the voice of reason,” she grumbled to the bluenette. “I can never say no to you.”</p>
<p>“I love you, too,” Ami told her with a soft smile. </p>
<p>Usagi turned back to him. “Are you okay with ending our date a little early tonight?” </p>
<p>“Whatever you need,” he promised easily. </p>
<p>And with that it was agreed. Usagi inhaled her chicken skewers with scallions in five minutes, they said their farewells and started the walk back to the parking garage.</p>
<p>Usagi chattered animatedly the whole walk back to the car. She pointed at yukatas she admired and the rice paper lanterns that were starting to come out to light up the darkening streets. Mamoru was distantly aware of music and drunken laughter that indicated that the festivities were somehow continuing. And Usagi just kept talking.</p>
<p>He somehow managed to smile and nod in all the right places, but his brain was too busy spiraling to process any of it. Instead, he obsessed over Usagi’s profile, wondering how on <em>fucking</em> earth people couldn’t recognize her as Sailor Moon. She looked <em>exactly</em> like the superheroine. She even wore her hair the same way, and in his case, she had even <em>told</em> him over a silly Buzzfeed quiz! And <em>still</em> he hadn’t been able to see it. </p>
<p>Only when they were in the lower level of the parking garage, standing beside his car, and almost alone, he pulled her to him. Wrapped his arms around her and buried his head into her shoulder. </p>
<p>Then to his horror, his body started quaking and salty tears fell from his eyes.</p>
<p>Small delicate hands wrapped around him, rubbing his back, bringing comfort in a way he did not ever remember receiving.</p>
<p>“It’s okay, Mamo-chan. You’re okay and I’m okay. We’re all okay,” Usagi soothed.</p>
<p>He managed to stop crying and to even his breathing. When he pulled away, she was smiling gently at him, her blue eyes shining so bright. </p>
<p>“Come on,” she urged. “Let’s get you in the car.”</p>
<p>He let her lead him by the hand as if he was a small child. Part of him was mortified that <em>she</em> was the one comforting <em>him</em>, but the other part just loved her more for her care. </p>
<p>The car ride was silent, as Mamoru was still lost in his thoughts. And Usagi seemed to sense his need for silence. But ten minutes into the car ride, Mamoru broke. </p>
<p>“I’ve never been that scared,” he admitted into the silence.</p>
<p>“It’s called a Cardian, and they’re beyond terrifying,” she explained, crystal blue eyes considering him in concern. </p>
<p>He shook his head. “I wasn’t talking about the monster. I was talking about you. You were just lying there. Usako,” a hand swept through his hair in agitation. “You weren’t moving. I thought you had…” and he choked on the word. He couldn’t say it. </p>
<p>Her hand was on his thigh, and she squeezed soothingly.</p>
<p>“I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”</p>
<p>He nodded at the reassurance, not trusting himself to speak. And concentrated on driving, embracing the silence once again. </p>
<p>“Usako?” he called as he made a right turn onto her block.</p>
<p>She didn’t respond. He glanced over, and she was curled up against the passenger window, completely asleep. </p>
<p>He smiled and focused on executing the last few turns to her apartment.<br/><br/>He parked and turned off the car. He didn’t immediately move. Instead, he turned his head and stared at her tiny little form curled up into a ball on the leather seat. She looked so small and fragile. Who would believe that this wonderful girl spent her free time battling Tokyo’s paranormal monsters?! Her lips were curled into a tiny smile, and he found himself hoping that she had beautiful dreams. She deserved nothing less than paradise after the physical trauma she suffered today, let alone all the countless times before. </p>
<p>He sighed. He needed to get her inside so she could have a proper rest on a soft mattress cocooned in her favorite puffy blanket.</p>
<p>He pulled out his phone, took a picture of sleeping Usagi, and texted it to Minako. </p>
<p>
  <em>Aww! &lt;3</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <em>Building code is *86764, and her key is in her purse. Outer pocket. </em>
</p>
<p>When he came around to the passenger side and picked her up effortlessly, she barely stirred, just nuzzled her blonde head up against his chest. Kami-sama, it felt good to have her there. As just a small reminder that she was alive and that he would be able to see her smile, and hear her laugh again. He only had to wait until tomorrow, when he and Usagi would get breakfast like they had almost every morning for the last seven weeks. </p>
<p>He brought her up to her room, navigated the obstacles sprawled across the floor in what was left of the evening light, set her down so carefully, and tucked the comforter around her petite form. </p>
<p>She sighed happily in her sleep as she cuddled into the nest of blanket, and he pulled his hand away, but the truth was he didn’t want to go. </p>
<p>He kneeled down on the floor next to her bed so their faces were level and brushed the hair out of her face. </p>
<p>“Usako… you’re absolutely incredible. I already thought so before today,” he said, laughing softly at himself. “But clearly, I had only seen the tip of the iceberg.”</p>
<p>He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “I love you,” he whispered. He hadn’t meant to say it. He hadn’t thought about it. But that was the last rule. The one that he had thought would be the easiest to keep no matter what he felt. But the rules didn’t matter anymore. The fake dating seemed so trivial in light of everything that had transpired.</p>
<p>Today had changed everything.</p>
<p>He stood to leave. </p>
<p>“Mamo-chan?” her sleepy voice called to him before he made it to the door. “Did you say something?”</p>
<p>“Nothing Usako. Go back to sleep. We can talk tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Tomorrow at breakfast. He would tell her everything.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yeah, it’s not finished yet. It was supposed to be! But this last chapter exploded and it’s already at almost 8k words, so…. you’re going to get one more chapter at some point! Hopefully, that’s exciting news! </p>
<p>Next time… you know what? I’m not going to tell you. I don’t think I can say anything without giving everything away! </p>
<p>Thanks for FloraOne for going through with comments on like three different drafts of this massive chapter. And also to TinaCentury and Sagansjagger for listening to me whine about not being able to live up to the vision in my head in writing this chapter. We got there in the end!</p>
<p>And TinaCentury for being the best beta, and giving me so many reassurances when I was doubting myself. This chapter would not exist without you.</p>
<p>Reviews/Comments are love!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My goal was to finish this story in July. But then I decided on a whim to buy a house, so then I had to move, and then I had to reinvent schools… so I’ve been crazy overwhelmed. But I will tell you that I actually never really stopped working on this story. I always squeaked out a hundred or two words here, a hundred or two words there! It’s not my fault that the friggin’ chapter almost broke the 10k words threshold!! </p>
<p>Written for Starling Sinclair! I hope this story was worth the wait. </p>
<p>Please enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a morning seemingly like any other. Mamoru sat in his usual stool. The seat next to him remained empty, waiting for Usagi to come and warm it with her bubbly presence. Synthetic music from multitudes of arcade games overlapped to create a cacophony of sound behind him as the waitstaff moved around between the handful of early morning guests.</p>
<p>To the external observer, it looked like Mamoru was just following routine - the same routine he and Usagi had followed for the last two months since they had started “dating”. Only this morning felt completely different. He couldn’t sit still; he was constantly shifting his feet and his arms, wanting to jump out of his own buzzing skin. Even his palms were sweating.</p>
<p>He hadn’t bothered trying to study for his upcoming midterm, but he had tried watching the news Motoki always kept playing on an old television mounted to the wall near the ceiling. Mamoru hadn’t been able to follow the complex political scandal. </p>
<p>No, despite his best efforts, he could place his attention on exactly one of two places: watching the door for his “girlfriend” to arrive, or the analogue clock that hung behind the employee work area. This had to be the tenth time in the last five minutes that he checked the time.</p>
<p>8:45. </p>
<p>He had at least twenty more minutes to wait, but knowing Usagi, it would probably be another thirty.</p>
<p>He swept his hands through his hair, trying to settle the tension in his gut. It didn’t work. He wanted to see Usagi so badly. He <em>needed</em> to see her. He needed to <em>talk</em> to her. That she was Sailor Moon made him feel even <em>less</em> worthy of her time and attention. But it didn’t matter. He wasn’t expecting her to reciprocate his feelings. If they were going to continue this charade, she had to know what he was thinking. Assuming he could even figure it all out himself. </p>
<p>He glanced towards the door again. No Usagi. </p>
<p>He tried resting his hands on the countertop in front of him. They stayed there for maybe five seconds before he moved them to his lap and clutched at his pant legs without thought in an attempt to dry his damp hands.</p>
<p>He glanced at the clock again. </p>
<p>8:47. </p>
<p>Time could not pass any more slowly. When he had been pacing at home agonizing over what exactly he was going to say, he thought he would just come to the Crown routine, and the familiar ambiance would be enough to distract him and set him at ease. </p>
<p>Instead, he had doubled his wait time for Usagi by arriving early, <em>and</em> confined himself to the space of the bar stool instead of his entire luxury apartment. </p>
<p>“Morning Mamoru-kun!”</p>
<p>Mamoru started at the address. His blue eyes flew to Motoki’s warm smile from the other side of the counter. </p>
<p>“You’re here early,” his oldest friend observed.</p>
<p>Mamoru checked the time again. </p>
<p>8:50.</p>
<p>He nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I woke up early, and my mind was buzzing too much to go back to sleep.”</p>
<p>Motoki poured him his usual hazelnut blend of coffee into a white ceramic cup and placed the steaming beverage in front of him. </p>
<p>“So, what’s got you all twisted up?” Motoki asked.</p>
<p>Mamoru sighed and looked up at his friend’s patient green gaze. Mamoru wasn’t sure he was ready for this conversation, but on the other hand, it would definitely be distracting. “You were right,” he admitted.</p>
<p>The other man grinned, poured himself a cup of coffee, and quickly came around the counter and took Usagi’s regular seat. “Oh, I’m completely aware.” </p>
<p>Mamoru frowned. “Do you even know what I’m talking about?” </p>
<p>Motoki’s grin somehow expanded. "You're talking about your feelings for Usagi-chan," the blond arcade worker chimed in immediately. </p>
<p>Heat bloomed across Mamoru’s neck and face. "H-How did you know?" </p>
<p>Motoki just kept grinning even as he took a sip of his steaming mug. "Mamoru-kun, you liked her before all of this. Getting to see her up close just solidified things for you.”</p>
<p>"But… how did you realize it before I did?" </p>
<p>His friend laughed. "You're always the last to realize what you're feeling. But don't worry,” he assured with a soft pat on the back. “I'm sure Usagi-chan finds that endearing." </p>
<p>Mamoru took a sip of coffee, stalling for time. "Do you think she feels something for me?" he asked casually, trying to disguise the desperation with which he needed to know.  </p>
<p>Motoki glanced at the ceiling, his lips pursed in consideration. "Well, I don't know her quite as well as you,” he finally offered. “But I think even you would agree that she cares about you a lot. I don't think she'd have agreed to this fake dating thing for just anyone.” </p>
<p>Mamoru wasn’t so sure.</p>
<p>“I think she’d be willing to give it a real shot,” Motoki said, his gaze coming back to his friend. “Especially since she's gotten a chance to go for a test drive and seems to be enjoying it. And you're still in one piece, right?"</p>
<p>One of the waitresses ran up. Mamoru didn’t recognize her, so she was probably new. “I’m so sorry to interrupt, Furuhata-san,” the girl spoke rapidly, her voice shaking with nerves. “Table 8 wants to speak to a manager. I don’t know what I did wrong.”</p>
<p>“Shhh. It’s okay,” Motoki soothed. “Please, calm down. For all you know they want to give a compliment, and even if it’s not, this is your third day. You’re still learning, so don’t worry about it. I’ll go talk to them.”</p>
<p>He turned back to Mamoru. “Apparently, duty calls. My advice to you is just to be honest, Mamoru-kun. Usagi-chan will be ecstatic, or she will be gentle. Promise,” he winked and was gone.</p>
<p>Mamoru glanced at the clock again. </p>
<p>8:59. </p>
<p>His shoulders slumped. Even his Motoki distraction had only earned him nine minutes! It would be at least another six minutes before there was even a <em>chance</em> of Usagi walking through the double doors of the Crown. And honestly, ten to fifteen was more likely. </p>
<p>What was he even going to say to her, he asked himself for the millionth time that morning. He wanted to tell her how she made him feel, but how did one even go about doing that? He hadn’t really ever had feelings worthy of a confession before. And would Usagi even be open to the idea of entering a real relationship with him? He had no idea how much their interactions came from genuine affection, and how much came from pretending. Maybe Usagi didn’t like him at all. Something about him seemed to make her light dim, and for the life of him, he could not figure out what he was doing wrong. </p>
<p>Perhaps he was too stoic, or too brooding - too melancholy for someone like Usagi. </p>
<p>He feared she had only agreed to be his fake girlfriend because she was kind. Despite Motoki’s claims, Mamoru was fairly confident she <em>would</em> <em>have</em> done it for anyone. There was no way that Usagi saw anything in him.</p>
<p>He stamped down on that line of thinking with a shake of his head. It didn’t matter if she wasn’t interested. He wasn’t confessing because he expected anything in return! He needed to do it so that she knew that there were feelings behind his actions. She had to know that his smiles and touches were more than pretending for him. She needed a chance to back out if that made her uncomfortable. </p>
<p>Which brought him right back to where he started. What was he going to say, exactly? </p>
<p>Mamoru started for the second time that morning when a steaming hot chocolate covered in mounds of whipped cream was placed in front of him. Usagi’s regular order. His head whipped up to the door (still no Usagi), and then the wall once again.</p>
<p>9:17. </p>
<p>Mamoru gave the waitress a grateful smile, trying to hide his sudden unease at Usagi’s continued absence.</p>
<p>His hands itched to call her, but she had made it clear yesterday that the hovering and worrying irritated her immensely. And rationally, he knew he was being ridiculous. Ami had said Usagi was healing nicely. She had been able to carry on conversations with all of them just fine. Plus, she would likely be there any minute.</p>
<p>He watched the door like a hawk, his palms once again damp and his stomach writhing in anticipation of all the things he needed to say. </p>
<p>9:20.</p>
<p>The nervous butterflies in his stomach started to twist into something more anxious, more sour, more nauseous. She should have been here by now. </p>
<p>9:22.</p>
<p>He pulled out his phone, and typed out a quick text.</p>
<p><em>Saving you a seat.</em> He added a picture of her untouched beverage sitting on the counter. There, that wasn’t too overbearing was it? </p>
<p>He stared at his phone, as if glaring daggers at the device was enough to will a response into existence. But the screen remained black. Normally, she responded immediately to his texts. But time kept passing, and there was still no sign of her. </p>
<p>9:23. </p>
<p>His waitress stopped by his table again, clutching an empty tray to her chest. “Usagi-chan not joining you today?” she asked. “I didn’t mean to presume.” She pointed to the untouched hot chocolate. “I can refund that if you like.” </p>
<p>“She’s just running late,” he told her, trying to remain calm. “She should be here any minute,” he continued, praying the words would be true. </p>
<p>They were not. </p>
<p>9:29. </p>
<p>His fingers tapped the counter in agitation. He texted her again. </p>
<p>
  <em>Where are you? Are you okay? </em>
</p>
<p>Still nothing. </p>
<p>9:35.</p>
<p>He broke down and called her. It went directly to voicemail. Which meant her phone was off. </p>
<p>Perhaps, her phone had died last night, and she didn’t have a back up alarm. </p>
<p>Despite the reasonable explanation, anxiety continued to churn in his gut. Usagi had experienced a head trauma yesterday, and then proceeded to go into acrobatic combat like it was nothing. His coffee settled into his stomach like a stormy sea. What if her concussion was worse than Ami had realized? Or if she reinjured herself falling out of bed, or stumbling off of a curb? </p>
<p>9:41.</p>
<p>He tried Minako at that point. Her phone <em>did</em> ring. </p>
<p>Only to go to voicemail.</p>
<p>Neither of them were answering. Were the senshi in battle, off fighting an impossible monster somewhere on Tokyo’s streets while he just <em>sat</em> here drinking <em>coffee?</em> </p>
<p>9:44.</p>
<p>“Mamoru-kun!” </p>
<p>Every hair on his neck and arms stood on end.</p>
<p>“It’s been a while!” Natsumi’s sickenly sweet voice greeted enthusiastically. “Fancy running into you here.”</p>
<p>He turned to face the woman that he honestly hadn’t seen in weeks. The woman he thought he had been rid of until Usagi had enlightened him the day before.</p>
<p>She glanced at the untouched chocolate and frowned before taking Usagi’s usual seat. He tried not to react. He didn’t want to show any fear. </p>
<p>“Did somebody stand you up?” she asked gently, placing her hand over his consolingly. </p>
<p>He pulled his hand away, and allowed it to rest on his leg, fighting the urge to ball it into a fist.</p>
<p>“That’s awful,” she cooed. “This girl clearly doesn’t know how to appreciate you.”</p>
<p>“Usako’s just running late,” he told her stiffly. “I would appreciate it if you would relinquish her seat.”</p>
<p>She didn’t move. “Mamoru-kun, I want you to know that <em>I</em> would never have left you here waiting on your own,” she told him softly. “I don’t think that anyone who <em>actually</em> loves you could do that to you. Maybe Usagi doesn’t love you at all.” </p>
<p>
  <em>Usagi doesn’t love you at all. </em>
</p>
<p>Her words struck him like a knife to the chest. They shouldn’t have. He already knew that Usagi didn’t love him. </p>
<p><em>It doesn’t matter,</em> he reminded himself once again.</p>
<p>He leaned forward towards his unwelcome seat partner. “Natsumi-san, I need you to understand something.” </p>
<p>She moved forward eagerly, her teeth pressing into her low lip that curled into a slight smile of a person anticipating their next meal. The expression made his skin crawl. </p>
<p>He ignored it.</p>
<p>“Usako could dump me tomorrow, and I <em>still</em> won’t be interested in you,” he told her bluntly. He rose to his feet, placing several bills on the counter. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am worried about my girlfriend.”</p>
<p>He stepped past her, but her arm shot out like a viper’s strike, and held his wrist in a vise-like grip. Her maroon eyes narrowed into serpentine slits.</p>
<p>“Be careful, Mamoru-kun,” she hissed. “You don’t want to be on my bad side. I would hate it if something happened to your precious girlfriend. Next time, I won’t be so gentle with her.”</p>
<p>His discomfort with her presence and her hand on his arm suddenly seemed trite, insignificant. Now, his pulse seemed to throb painfully through every vein. His stomach twisted in anxious fear. His throat closed off and he couldn't breathe.</p>
<p>“Next time?” he croaked out through the blockage of fear in his windpipe. What did she mean <em>next time?</em> When was the first time? His heart leapt up into his throat, pounding so hard the bustle of the arcade seemed far away, like there was a wall between him and the environment.</p>
<p>Natsumi smiled easily. “Wasn’t she caught up in an attack yesterday? The way that monster threw her! My heart stopped. I do hope she’s okay,” Natsumi crooned sweetly. “Like I said, I would hate for anything to happen to her. ”</p>
<p>He saw red at the implications. “Are you threatening my girlfriend?” he growled, internally debating between tearing away from her and tearing her apart.</p>
<p>Her lips stretched into a demure smile. “Of course not, Mamoru-kun. Today, I was just trying to console a friend who was stood up. I just wanted you to know that I love and care about you even if she doesn’t.”</p>
<p>He laughed harshly. “You think you <em>love</em> me?” he spat out in disbelief. She was still latched onto his arm - her nails digging into his forearm like the teeth of a bear trap. </p>
<p>“I do, and eventually you will realize that your love is mine as well.” </p>
<p>Her words crawled along his skin like an unwanted rash.</p>
<p>“Love is not something you force, Natsumi-san. It’s something you give. And when you give it, you care more about the other person being happy than yourself. I love Usagi.” The angry words flew from his mouth, unable to be contained. He was disgusted with how easily the words left his tongue, disgusted that Natsumi knew how he felt before Usagi herself. But there was nothing for it now. He had already said it. “I care more about her well-being and her being happy than I do about her being with me. Because I want the <em>best</em> for her. Can you really say you feel that way about me?”</p>
<p>Natsumi sat unmoving, her eyes wide with surprise. She uttered no falsely sweet comebacks, no declarations of love or possession. It was almost like he had actually thrown her for a loop.</p>
<p>“You follow me everywhere, and my words and my wishes mean nothing to you. You want control and possession. I’m like an animal that you’re hunting. That’s not love!”</p>
<p>His phone rang. His stomach dropped as he frantically reached for the device with his free hand.</p>
<p>His stomach twisted when he saw it was Minako instead of Usagi. It had been months since Minako called him directly. He knew it meant nothing good. </p>
<p>“Where’s Usagi?” he answered, incapable of a proper greeting.</p>
<p>“It’s okay. She’s okay.” </p>
<p>He breathed one sigh of relief before he realized Minako hadn’t given him any grief for the way he answered the phone.</p>
<p>“What happened?” he barked.</p>
<p>“She was attacked this morning. We’re at the hospital now. Usagi-chan says you work here?”</p>
<p>His fear-induced adrenaline pulsed through his veins, threatening to overwhelm him. Attacked? He wanted to ask a million questions. Was it a Cardian? How was her head after yesterday? But one glance at the brunette in Usagi’s seat, and he swallowed all of it. “I’ll be right there.” </p>
<p>He ended the call. “You’re going to let go of me right now, Natsumi-san,” he told her without sparing her a glance. </p>
<p>To his surprise, she instantly released him. He didn’t waste another second.</p>
<p>It took him only twelve minutes to get to the hospital. They felt like hours. </p>
<p>He marched straight to the nursing station on the general floor. </p>
<p>“Dr Chiba, good mo-”</p>
<p>“I need the room for a Tsukino Usagi,” he interrupted.</p>
<p>The dark-haired man pushed a pair of glasses up his nose as he turned rapidly to his screen. “Uh… of course. Give me a second.”</p>
<p>Mamoru’s fingers tapped out his agitation as he waited for the nurse to find him a room number. He itched to go flying down the corridor.</p>
<p>“Tsukino, Usagi. I have her in PCU 314,” the nurse reported. “Do you need anything else?” </p>
<p>But Mamoru had already bolted from the desk like a runner off a starting block. He tore through the hospital using his badge to cut through other care units, flew up two flights of stairs because he could not handle waiting for an elevator, and barged into Usagi’s room, startling the resident that was leaning over his blonde girlfriend.</p>
<p>Usagi whimpered at the sudden movement. Mamoru bit back a displeased growl.</p>
<p>The petite women in dark blue scrubs turned to him with a scowl. “Dr. Chiba, it is customary to knock and enter a patient’s room slowly,” she chastised. </p>
<p>He didn’t care that she was correct. “You gave her ibuprofen for her pain,” he criticized coldly. He was bluffing, but the resident didn’t know that. Mamoru had been in too much of a rush to get to Usagi’s side to take the time to log into the system to see her chart. But if Usagi had neglected to mention her head injury, it should work. Dr Fujita was pretty good at following protocol. </p>
<p>“The patient is allergic to acetaminophen. That is a standard replacement,” she countered, her brows furrowed in confusion.</p>
<p>Usagi shook her head at him in warning. He ignored it. </p>
<p>“But she suffered a concussion yesterday! Ibuprofen is contraindicated for a concussion as it increases chances of bleeding and exacerbating concussive symptoms.” </p>
<p>“I saw no mention of concussion in her chart,” the resident defended. </p>
<p>“Did you interview the patient yourself?” Mamoru challenged, trying to keep his face impassive. This was the weakest point in his case. “Or did you assume the nurses had captured everything in the chart?”</p>
<p>The resident paled.</p>
<p>Mamoru wanted to smile in victory, but he didn’t. He maintained his poker face. “I can take over from here,” he insisted. Usagi shot him an amused smirk, but she was shaking her head in exasperation. Seeing her act so normally put him at ease for the first time that day.  </p>
<p>“Dr. Chiba, this is highly irregular. I don’t think... ” </p>
<p>“I can take it up with the chief resident if you prefer,” he interrupted, not feeling an ounce of remorse for the undeserved threat.</p>
<p>“I uh… thank you for covering for me, Dr. Chiba. I will update the patient’s chart, if you can finish wrapping her wrist to prepare for casting.”</p>
<p>“No problem, Dr Fujita,” he said smoothly with a friendly smile, as if he was actually doing her a favor.</p>
<p>The resident departed quickly and silently with only a slight frown in his direction. Mamoru turned immediately to the blonde sitting with her legs dangling over the side of the patient cot with her own glare in his direction.</p>
<p>“Mamo-chan!” she scolded. “Was that really necessary?” </p>
<p>He ignored her concern, striding to her bedside in two steps. His hands immediately cradled her head, feeling for the hematoma from the day before. “Are you okay?” Mamoru asked even as he continued his examination. Her skull felt impossibly smooth considering how swollen it had been the day before, so he moved onto her wrist. </p>
<p>“She’s probably totally panicked that her senior just blackmailed her! How is she going to work with you in the future?” she continued indignantly, her blue eyes flashing in displeased righteousness.</p>
<p>“Usako,” he pleaded, as he stretched the gauze gently around her wrist, careful not to jostle the injured joint.</p>
<p>She huffed, her blonde bangs puffing upward with her breath. “I’m fine. Just a few scrapes, bruises and a broken wrist,” she lifted the injured arm into his face. </p>
<p>“Hold still,” he directed, his voice clipped and stern. </p>
<p>She sighed, her shoulders slumped, but she did as he asked. It was silent. He used a butterfly clip to attach the final edge of the bandage to what was already there. Having completed his task, his hands rested on her shoulders. </p>
<p>“What happened?” he asked into the silence. “Was it a Cardian?” </p>
<p>Her forehead fell against his chest, her gaze fell solidly onto her dangling feet. “Uh… no,” she mumbled into his shirt. “It wasn’t a Cardian.” </p>
<p>And then she didn’t say anything else. Her sapphire eyes refused to rise up to his face. She didn’t want to tell him. </p>
<p>His heart plummeted into his stomach at the realization. She didn’t trust him. </p>
<p>“Usako,” he whispered, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice, but failing. “Please tell me what happened.” </p>
<p>Her eyes shot up, and she stared at him for several seconds, <em>still</em> not saying anything. Her teeth pressed into her bottom lip as she fidgeted under his hands on her shoulders. </p>
<p>“Please?” he begged.</p>
<p>She nodded. “It was… uh… please promise you won’t freak out!”</p>
<p>He shook his head in agitation. He would promise no such thing. </p>
<p>She sighed, and continued anyway. “I swear it wasn’t a big deal. I was on my way to breakfast with you, but I was cornered before I got there.” </p>
<p>His throat constricted at her words. “You were mugged?” </p>
<p>Usagi shook her head rapidly, still biting her lower lip. “No… it was Natsumi,” she admitted. </p>
<p>His stomach did more than flip at her pronouncement - it twisted in on itself writhing in agony, his pounding pulse burned through his veins, and his hands tightened into fists.</p>
<p>Natsumi had been sitting right next to him, having the gall to tell him Usagi’s absence meant she didn’t love him.</p>
<p>When his eyes fell to her lap, to her wrist halfway bandaged and limp, his anger faded as fast as it had come. It was <em>his</em> fault Usagi had ever fallen into Natsumi’s line of sight in the first place. He had kissed Usagi out of the blue, had never even asked for her consent. If he had been strong enough to stand up to Natsumi himself from the very beginning as he just had thirty minutes prior, none of this would have ever happened. </p>
<p>He cradled Usagi’s wrist in his hands, his eyes suddenly swelling with tears. </p>
<p>“I’m so sorry,” he choked out. “This is my fault. I never should have involved you in any of this.”</p>
<p>Usagi’s lips turned down into a frown as she rapidly shook her head no. She inched forward on the bed, and caressed the side of his face with her left hand - the good one. “Mamo-chan, this is <em>not</em> your fault. And it’s not even a big deal. I can deal with Natsumi.”</p>
<p>“She attacked you!” he objected. </p>
<p>Her cerulean eyes searched his own. She pressed her lips together before they parted to speak. “Please, don’t worry about it. I said I would do anything to protect you. I meant it. I’ve suffered way worse. You have no idea.” And there was pain behind those eyes. And he hated it.</p>
<p>“How many fights have you been in?” he asked softly.</p>
<p>“Too many to count,” she admitted, looking down into her lap. </p>
<p>Which was worse than knowing a number. </p>
<p>His heart broke for the burden she bore on her slim shoulders with very few to support and understand her. He cradled her face with both hands and pulled her gaze upwards. </p>
<p>“I’m still sorry that I ever asked you to do this. And I’m sorry that you got hurt because of it.”</p>
<p>She shook her head. “I’m not. If I hadn’t, who knows where you’d be right now. We all clearly underestimated Natsumi. What she is willing to do and what she’s capable of.”</p>
<p>“Exactly,” he agreed. “That’s why I never should have put you in danger.” </p>
<p>Her blue eyes narrowed at him. “I can protect myself.” </p>
<p>He pulled his hands away in agitation. “I <em>know</em> you can!” he told her heatedly. “But you shouldn’t have to! And it doesn’t mean that I <em>like</em> it! You got <em>hurt!</em> Because of <em>me! </em>And <em>I wasn’t there!”</em></p>
<p>“Mamo-chan,” she reached for his hand, but he pulled away. He didn’t deserve her reassurance. </p>
<p>“I was drinking coffee while you were attacked by my stalker. I would do anything to protect you, too!” </p>
<p>He still hasn’t said what he wants to say, but he’s praying that she can hear the meaning behind his words. But part of him hoped that she missed them completely. She was too kind, too good. She was wasting her time and apparently risking her life on his nonsense. She was Sailor Moon! She had better things to do. </p>
<p>“I don’t need you to protect me,” she said again.</p>
<p>His hands tore through his hair in frustration. This girl was going to drive him mad. <br/><br/>“Usako! Don’t you see? <em>You</em> have to be okay. You protect all of Tokyo. I’m not worth it!”</p>
<p>She slapped him with her injured hand. Her right hand. She whimpered, crading the wrist up against her chest. </p>
<p>He was too shocked to react. The room fell silent, except for the hissing of the oxygen line behind the patient bed that was always on ready. </p>
<p>Her mouth opened to speak several times, her mouth curved into a frown. </p>
<p>“Mamo-chan,” she finally hissed, her left hand stabbing a finger into his chest. “I’m only going to say this <em>once</em>.”</p>
<p>He braced himself for whatever condemnation she was about to unleash. Whatever it was, he promised himself he would accept it. He had to, because he owed her the moon.</p>
<p>She spoke slowly, over-enunciating every word. “Don’t you <em>ever</em> talk about the man I love like he’s worthless.” </p>
<p>And it was like she had sucker-punched him. He thought he had been prepared for anything, but now, all the air had been sucked from his lungs. </p>
<p>She continued to glare at him, waiting for him to speak. </p>
<p>He licked his lips and cleared his throat. “W-what?” was all he managed to force out, all his brain was capable of forming. </p>
<p>She didn’t bother to respond to his eloquent and articulate question. Her blue eyes glistened with unshed tears, even as she continued to glare angrily at him. He was lost in the swirling depths of the blue pools before she looked away. His pulse roared in his ears. </p>
<p>
  <em>She loved him.</em>
</p>
<p>“You love me?” he asked softly, warmth blooming in his chest at the revelation. </p>
<p>
  <em>She loved him.</em>
</p>
<p>Why hadn’t he already said it back? </p>
<p>
  <em>She loved him.</em>
</p>
<p>Usagi wilted at the question. Her shoulders slumped, her gaze fell to her knees, but he could still see the single tear that slipped down her cheek. “I always have,” she admitted softly. “I was never pretending.” </p>
<p>She was <em>never</em> pretending?</p>
<p>
  <em>Shit.</em>
</p>
<p>Her fingers picked at the edges of the new bandage on her wrist, unraveling the frayed edges before she risked a glance up at him again, her teeth pressing into her lower lip.  “When you first kissed me out of the blue in the arcade, I was overjoyed. Because I thought you felt the same.” </p>
<p>His gut shriveled in on itself. How could he have <em>ever</em> played with her feelings this way?</p>
<p>“And it’s been hard having this with you. It’s so much <em>better</em> than I ever thought it would be, and yet it’s so much <em>worse</em> because it’s <em>not</em> <em>real</em>.” </p>
<p>His heart threatened to beat past his ribcage with each word she spoke.</p>
<p>And yet, her eyes remained glued to his chest, her eyes remained unfocused like she was looking through him, her fingers still unraveling the white gauze. “And yet, I can’t stand the idea of this ending, and not even having at <em>least</em> this much.” </p>
<p>He understood completely. It terrified him how well he understood. And he had only been feeling this way for a little over a week. Maybe two. Usagi had felt it through the entire ruse. </p>
<p>His heart stuttered in his chest as a second tear joined the first. He cupped either side of her face, and brushed them away with the pad of his thumb. </p>
<p>“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t know. I never would have asked this of you, had I known.” </p>
<p>The top of her head dropped to his chest, and to his horror she shook silently, her arms hugging herself tightly. “Th-That’s why I didn’t tell you,” she managed through her tears. She never looked up. “I was serious when I said I would do anything to protect you.”</p>
<p>Her words washed over him, promising warmth and joy in his future. But they didn’t quite reach him. They felt faraway and surreal, too good to be true, and he just couldn’t quite believe it. He pulled her into his arms, and rested his cheek atop her golden head. He needed to tell her his own feelings. He had been trying since the previous afternoon, but there was always something in the way. He needed to bring an end to her tears, to her pain. He needed her to know that there was nothing unrequited between them. </p>
<p>But one nagging thought held him back.</p>
<p>“Why do I make you sad?” he whispered.</p>
<p>She tensed in his arms. “W-what do you mean?” </p>
<p>He pulled away just enough to look into her eyes. Her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion over her trembling blue orbs. This close to her, Mamoru noticed the silver flecks in her irises for the first time. </p>
<p>“We were friends for awhile. You were bright and sassy. You teased me about having a bad memory and terrible social skills. And then suddenly, you... stopped.” </p>
<p>He paused, watching her face for hints of how she was reacting, but she gave nothing away. Her expression didn’t waver. </p>
<p>“You were sad and distant and I hated it,” he continued. “I asked Motoki-kun about it. I was worried something had happened to you, but he didn’t know, and I realized that you only got sad when I was there.”</p>
<p>Her eyes widened, and her good arm latched onto his forearm.</p>
<p>“I-is that… is that why you started avoiding me?”</p>
<p>He nodded. “I hate seeing you so sad. And since we’ve started fake dating, I’ve seen glimpses of it. Like for a second you’re riding sky high, and then you’re lower than low. And I don’t understand what I did wrong.” </p>
<p>Her head shook furiously. “You did nothing wrong!”</p>
<p>“But then, <em>why? Why</em> did things change so dramatically almost over night?” he demanded, not realizing until that moment how much he needed to know. </p>
<p>Usagi’s eyes dropped back down to his chest. “It’s difficult to explain,” she whispered. </p>
<p>“Please, Usako,” he begged through the sudden dryness in his throat, his hands pressing into her shoulders. “Please try.” </p>
<p>She fidgeted under his hold, still not meeting his gaze, and every moment of silence filled him with more dread.</p>
<p>What was it that she wasn’t telling him? What was so bad that she couldn’t tell him? </p>
<p>“Usako?” he finally prompted. </p>
<p>“I-I don’t know if I should tell you,” she finally managed.</p>
<p>All the air in his lungs abandoned him and he couldn’t breathe. The tiny walls of the patient room loomed in around him. </p>
<p>She loved him. </p>
<p>But she didn’t <em>trust</em> him. </p>
<p>And that hurt. </p>
<p>But she wasn’t wrong. What had he done to prove himself? </p>
<p>“O-of course,” he stammered, pulling himself away from her hold, rapidly fleeing to the corner of the small room. “I realize I haven’t yet earned your trust.” </p>
<p>Her blue eyes snapped back to his all at once, spinning with intensity he couldn’t read before she leaped off the bed and ate up the space between them in an instant. “Mamo-chan! Of course I trust you!” she snapped, her foot stomped furiously on the hospital floor. “I trust you completely with <em>every fiber of my being</em>. I would have told you everything the moment I could if I thought you would have believed me!” </p>
<p>Every part of his body felt warm at the admission. She <em>trusted</em> him.</p>
<p>His eyebrows furrowed together in his continued confusion. “Why do you think I won’t believe you?” </p>
<p>She laughed, smiling up through her glassy eyes. She cupped his face with her good hand. “You’re very grounded and sensible, Mamo-chan. I…” she trailed off.</p>
<p>Her fingers slid off his face into her lap, and her eyes followed a second later. “My story is too fantastical. Without knowing me as well as you do, without knowing I’m Sailor Moon, you wouldn’t have believed any of it was true at all. Let alone something that you had experienced firsthand.”</p>
<p>He felt the air evacuate from his lungs. Did she know something about his missing memories? </p>
<p>He didn’t want to go there. Hope was dangerous. </p>
<p>“Plus, I don’t want to force you into anything. You deserve to choose your own life,” she told him emphatically, her eyes glassy with barely concealed emotion. </p>
<p>He pressed his lips to her forehead. “Usako, what is wrong?” </p>
<p>Her tears overflowed at his actions. “I just… I wish you could remember.”</p>
<p>Even though he half suspected already, he still went rigid. She <em>did</em> have knowledge of his missing memories. </p>
<p>And she had kept them from him. </p>
<p>“Usako, what don’t I remember?” he asked, desperately trying to disguise the urgency that he needed to know. But the tightness in his voice and his shaking hands no doubt gave him away. </p>
<p>Her eyes were puffy and red at this point as she continued to cry. She sniffed inelegantly, and under any other circumstances he would have laughed or pulled her into his arms. </p>
<p>But she was still silent.</p>
<p>“Were you not a hospital volunteer? Were we together in my missing month?” he guessed.</p>
<p>She kept shaking her head, even as silent tears continued to fall from her chin. “I <em>was</em> a volunteer. As far as I was concerned, I <em>had</em> just met you then at the hospital. I didn’t remember then, either. The magic made us forget. But then Sailor Moon was needed again, and I had to remember.”</p>
<p>She looked up at him, her blue eyes glassy and her nose red from crying. “I remembered everything, and then I saw you. And you didn’t remember me,” she glanced away. He could hear the accusation in her voice though she was trying to hide it.</p>
<p>“Not the way I can remember you,” she continued in a whisper. “And it was so <em>hard</em>.” </p>
<p>He swallowed, trying to clear his throat, but the painful lump of emotion stayed lodged solidly in his windpipe.</p>
<p>“We were together,” he croaked. It wasn’t a question. </p>
<p>She nodded and then bit her lip. And again, she wasn’t looking at him.</p>
<p>“There’s more,” he concluded.</p>
<p>She nodded again, her gaze still locked on his chest.</p>
<p>“Tell me,” he requested softly, urging her face back up. His thumb brushed away the tear trails on her cheeks. He felt calm and at peace for the first time in months. This wasn’t about regaining part of his memories or himself. He wanted to know because she needed him to know. </p>
<p>She didn’t look away. “It will sound unbelievable.” </p>
<p>He smiled gently, caressing her now dry face again because he could. “Your life seems pretty unbelievable.”</p>
<p>“Yours was, too,” she confessed, her eyes now clear and free of tears. </p>
<p>“It was?” </p>
<p>Her good hand threaded through his. “I was Sailor Moon, and you… you were Tuxedo Kamen.”</p>
<p>“Tuxedo Kamen?” he repeated. “That’s a dumb name.”</p>
<p>She giggled, her face bursting in sudden nostalgic joy. “I thought you pulled it off well.” </p>
<p>And she regaled him with tales of a boy and a girl who did not get along. Who hurled shoes and insults at one another. Of paranormal vigilantes that fought off impossible creatures that drained ordinary people of their life’s energy. And of a dashing knight that never failed to pull his princess away from mortal peril. </p>
<p>And finally, of a moment of remembrance of a past life. </p>
<p>But the story wasn’t over. He clung to her tighter as she told him that he had been turned against her and fought for chaos. How she had only emerged victorious when she had impaled him with a sword.</p>
<p>And his heart broke that he had ever put her through that. </p>
<p>And yet… he was strangely proud of her, too. </p>
<p>“And so, seeing you again, alive and well, knowing that I could have another chance,” she said, curled against his chest, fiddling with the hem of his jacket.</p>
<p>“I wish I could show you a picture, but Ami said that alternate timeline never happened.”</p>
<p>He still didn’t remember any of it, but it stirred something in him. When she told him of her first nights as a heroine, he ached for how alone and terrified she must have been. When she told him of Jadeite’s defeat, he felt a stab of melancholy, though the feeling did not make sense. And the more she told him, the more right it felt. Like he was finding that missing piece of his psyche that he had sought for so long. </p>
<p>She fell into silence, her hands still fidgeting with the edge of his jacket. She glanced up with her teeth pressed into her bottom lip, only to look straight back down. “I… do you believe me?” </p>
<p>He started. It had never occurred to him to doubt her. “I do.” </p>
<p>She sagged in relief against him. </p>
<p>“You don’t owe me anything,” she mumbled into his chest. “You’re not obligated to have anything to do with the Senshi.” </p>
<p>His arms wrapped around her more firmly, more determined than ever to support her in every way that he could. “I don’t deserve you.”</p>
<p>She looked up at him and he was lost. “I think you deserve the world.” </p>
<p>Her lips curled up into a hesitant smile, her sky blue eyes shone brightly, sending warmth cascading through his whole form. What good deed had he ever done to have earned her love and affection? </p>
<p>“Do you want to stop pretending?” he asked. </p>
<p>She wilted and pulled away, her gaze once again distant. </p>
<p>No no no. She didn’t understand. </p>
<p>She tucked a flyaway hair behind her ear. “If you really want to. I know I can be childish and a bother. I still worry about you, though. Natsumi is still out there.” </p>
<p>He ducked down into her line of sight. “That’s not what I meant. I meant…” he cupped the side of her face in his right hand. “Do you want to stop <em>pretending</em> to date… and date for <em>real?”</em></p>
<p>Her eyes shot up, light flooding back into them. She bounced up onto her toes, and he thought she was going to kiss him again, only for her to pull back at the last second. “I… You <em>don’t</em> owe me anything.” </p>
<p>He laughed. “Usako, I’m pretty sure I owe you everything. But that has nothing to do with this.” He smiled softly, his thumb brushing the side of her face. “I always liked you. I felt a connection to you. You turned what could have been the second worst day of my life into a treasured memory because it was the day I met you.” And then he shrugged. “Or that I thought I met you.”</p>
<p>“And if I wasn’t already in love with you,” he continued. “Which I’m not totally convinced that I wasn’t, I definitely fell in love with you while we were fake-dating. Turns out, I’m really bad at pretending. And I <em>want</em> to date you for real.” </p>
<p>Usagi’s lips parted in a soft gasp. Her eyes sparkled in wide-eyed wonder. “Really?” she breathed, as if not daring to believe it. </p>
<p>His lips curled up into a soft smile. “Really,” he paused. “I keep bumping into Minako’s rules all the time, and even though I know we’ve always been terrible at following them, I felt like I should have been trying harder to respect them. But I <em>want </em>to reach out and hold you when no one else is there. Maybe <em>especially</em> when no one else is there. I want to feel you in my arms and know that you’re there. I want to be there for you when you are hurt or when you cry.” </p>
<p>She was crying now. Tears streamed down her cheeks, but she didn’t look away. But he gently brushed her face dry, and then basked in the sensation of his thumb on her smooth soft skin.</p>
<p>“I want to be able to introduce you as my girlfriend and it not be a lie. I want the world to know you are mine. And most importantly,” he paused, letting another smile stretch across his face. “I want to be able to tell you I love you every single time the thought crosses my mind instead of having to hold it back like some shameful secret.” </p>
<p>“You’ve th-thought it before?” she choked out through her sputtering sniffles.</p>
<p>He laughed. “Too many times.” <br/><br/>She pulled on his shirt with her good hand, forcing him to get even closer. “Tell me,” she demanded. </p>
<p>Her eyes were red and puffy from crying; she was dressed only in a hospital gown. Her blond hair flew wildly in every direction. But she had never looked more beautiful to him. </p>
<p>“Right now,” he told her. “I’m thinking it right now.” </p>
<p>She broke into sobs and buried her face into his chest, as her hands fisted into his jacket. </p>
<p>“I love you, Usako,” he spoke softly, resting his cheek into her hair. </p>
<p>“I love you, too,” she mumbled. </p>
<p>They stayed that way for several minutes. He closed his eyes against the harsh fluorescent lighting of the patient room and allowed himself to just be in that moment with her with her warmth pressed to his chest. Her occasional sniff punctuating the silence, as his fingers immersed themselves in her golden tangles. </p>
<p>This was way too good to be true.</p>
<p>She pulled away. “When was the first time?” </p>
<p>“The first time?” he repeated, confused. </p>
<p>“The first time you thought that you loved me,” she clarified. </p>
<p>He cocked his head in thought. “I think the first time was on our first date. The one where we got ice cream?” </p>
<p>Her jaw dropped. “That early?! No way!” </p>
<p>“Yeah.” It shocked him how easily the admission came from his lips. “It was when you told me you were there and that I wasn’t alone. I wanted to say something right then. I put my hand on your face.”</p>
<p>“I was certain that was just for show. I cried about it with Minako.” </p>
<p>His smile faded as her words struck him painfully in the chest. “I’m sorry I made you cry. I never…”</p>
<p>She silenced him with a finger to his lips. “It’s fine. We were both idiots. But now, we can be together… i-if you still want to.” </p>
<p>He seized her mouth in a kiss. And for the first time in months, he could relish the soft skin of her lips on his, the tingles that shot down his spine in response to her teeth on his bottom lip, he could cling her to him without an ounce of guilt.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>“You’re nervous,” she said as they exited the elevator into her hallway.</p>
<p>It wasn’t a question. She knew how to read him that well. And it was still disconcerting that she could see past his stoic mask. Mamoru wondered what gave him away. Was it the slight sweat in his palm? He didn’t think that was it. Their fingers were lightly laced together, but she wasn’t actually touching his palm. Maybe it was the tension in his shoulders? Was he walking a bit stiffly? Some microexpression in his face?</p>
<p>“A little,” he admitted. </p>
<p>She laughed, the sound joyous and resonant like bells. “Don’t worry. I keep telling you. They already love you.”</p>
<p>He nodded, accepting her words. But they weren’t enough to soothe his anxieties. He had interacted with all of her friends before and after the fake dating ruse. But that was before he knew that they were the senshi. Before he knew that they all remembered things about him that he himself did not. Before he was actually dating their best friend after making her miserable for months with a fake dating scheme. </p>
<p>She pulled him forward gently and pushed open the door without hesitation. She did live there, he mused. </p>
<p>Four faces all looked up at their faces in the doorway as Usagi finished guiding in over the threshold.</p>
<p>“Hello everyone! Thank you all for coming today so last minute. I really couldn’t wait to introduce you all to my boyfriend!” </p>
<p>There was whooping and whistling. </p>
<p>Heat rushed to his cheeks. </p>
<p>“It’s about bloody time!” Minako interjected into the cheers. </p>
<p>Makoto literally dropped the mixing bowl she had been holding and leapt towards them. He gasped as her arms wrapped solidly around him, squeezing out all the air from his lungs before mercifully moving to Usagi to give her the same attention. “I’m just so happy,” the brunette squeaked.</p>
<p>And he was overwhelmed with her immediate acceptance. His eyes actually burned, but he blinked back the emotion. </p>
<p>Minako was smirking at him. “For the record, I gave you <em>so</em> many hints even before the Natsumi problem! So many opportunities! What took you so long?!” the blonde demanded, exasperation pulsating from every inch of her form. </p>
<p>He blushed again. “I guess I just never thought someone as amazing as her would look at someone like me.” He glanced over to his actual real life girlfriend, and she was smiling at him fondly. Once again, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. </p>
<p>Then Minako cleared her throat. </p>
<p>His gaze shot back to her. “Anyway, thank you for looking after Usako. We… uh…” his free hand thread through his hair even as Usagi leaned into his side. “We weren’t very good at following your rules.”</p>
<p>Minako smiled. “Oh, I am <em>well</em> aware. But you know, I think half the point in making those rules was to make sure you knew when you were breaking them. How else would you know that you’d fallen for her for real?” </p>
<p>“Thank you,” he said, enunciating the words slowly trying to convey how much he meant them. They didn’t feel like enough. </p>
<p>She patted him gently on the shoulder, mockingly, like she was placating a small child. “I’m truly happy for you Mamoru-Kun, but for the record, I do everything for her.”</p>
<p>He nodded, understanding the sentiment far too well. “Leave him alone, Mina,” Makoto interjected, before shoving a plate overflowing with food into his free hand. She grinned at him again and squealed happily before she made her way back into the kitchen. He eyed the plate filled with hibachi fish and vegetables with homemade strawberry mochi and two bars of chocolate on the side. These were his favorite foods.</p>
<p>Before he could even say thank you, she had retreated back to the kitchen, her face hidden behind a vase of blooming white roses that sat on the high bar style counter.</p>
<p>“I’m going to get my own food. You should go sit down,” Usagi pointed to the living room. Ami and Rei sat on opposite ends of the couch in the living room, sharing tea. They both waved to him with bright smiles of their own when Usagi told him to sit.  </p>
<p>He bit down the urge to ask her to come with him and joined the two more reserved girls in the living room. So far, Usagi had been correct. The girls held only affection for him. Instead, he made his way to the living room and took the end seat across from Rei with Ami on the other side of the couch. </p>
<p>Rei poured him a cup of tea and held it out with a bright smile. “Happiness suits you, Mamoru-kun.”</p>
<p>He was struck speechless by the warmth in her tone for a moment.</p>
<p>Then she frowned. “Do you not want the tea? I know you like something to balance out all the sweets.” </p>
<p>He carefully placed his plate down on the low table and took the tea with a slight bow of his head. “Thank you, Rei-chan. For both the sentiment and the hospitality.” </p>
<p>She acknowledged his comment with her own nod, and took a careful sip of her own tea. </p>
<p>Ami moved over to fill the blank space between them. “Mamoru-kun,” she greeted kindly. “I’m excited that we will be seeing more of you. I have missed your company and your insight.” </p>
<p>“I hope to be able to live up to your expectations.” </p>
<p>The blunette scoffed and waved her hand dismissively. “You’ve nothing to worry about, Mamoru-kun. We’re not here to evaluate you. We’re your friends.” </p>
<p>Friends. He glanced towards the dining and kitchen area as Usagi and Makoto both burst out laughing about something while Minako just rolled her eyes. Rei had her eyes closed as she continued to savor her tea, and Ami sat with her legs crossed, leaning toward him slightly to give him all of her focus and attention. </p>
<p>He had never had so many friends. Let alone ones as amazing as all of Usagi’s friends.</p>
<p>What did one talk about with new friends? </p>
<p>Ami seemed to sense his self-consciousness and spoke first. “So, has your residency helped you decide if you want to be a general hospitalist or go for the specialty in neurology?”</p>
<p>Mamoru latched onto the familiar and comfortable topic of conversation. “I would like to pursue neurology, but we’ll see if I get into any fellowships.” </p>
<p>She shook her head. “What do you mean, <em>if </em>you get in? I think you’re selling yourself short.” </p>
<p>Mamoru shrugged. “I have always erred on assuming the worst… Wait! How did you know about neurology? Did Usagi mention it?” He turned toward the center of the room, eyebrows furrowing. Had <em>he</em> even ever mentioned neurology to Usagi? </p>
<p>She smiled sheepishly. “No… ah, you told me yourself. We talked about it a lot actually.”</p>
<p>His tea froze on its journey to his mouth as her words hit him. She <em>knew</em> him. She wasn’t just offering friendship out of some sense of obligation. She remembered parts of his life that he could not. He glanced around the living area a second time. Usagi had a full plate now, but she was still deep in chattering conversation with Minako. Makoto was pulling a pie out of the oven, but she definitely threw in some comment that sent the two blondes into hysterical laughter. Ami and Rei both had their eyes locked on him in concern. </p>
<p>“You all remember me,” he breathed. </p>
<p>Ami frowned slightly. “I thought Usagi-chan told you as much.” </p>
<p>He nodded. “She did, but…” he trailed off. It hadn’t really registered as real. He hadn’t really considered the implications. “Minako-chan has been protecting me through this whole thing not just for Usagi, but because she knows me and considers me to be a friend. Makoto-san keeps making me food not just because she wants to be nice to Usagi’s boyfriend, but because she cares about me. She knows what all my favorites are. You know all about my past and my life goals...”</p>
<p>“And you and Rei-chan even dated!” Ami interjected teasingly, her blue eyes flashing across the couch to the shinto priestess.</p>
<p>“Ami!” Rei objected. </p>
<p>Ami didn’t look remotely apologetic. </p>
<p>Mamoru though, was once again in mental freefall. He hadn’t thought he had ever dated anyone. Now to find that he had a history with not just one girl, but two? They almost seemed to know him better than he knew himself. </p>
<p>Rei had been able to read him so well at the festival when he had felt swallowed by the crowd. And she was so pleased to see him happy now.</p>
<p>He turned towards his seating companion, feelings swirling too fast for him to identify any of them. “You all really know me. You all <em>care</em> about me.”</p>
<p>“Of course we do!” </p>
<p>His eyes burned, but he didn’t cry. He wouldn’t cry. </p>
<p>Ami leaned forward and placed a soft hand on his knee. “Would you like to remember, Mamoru-kun?” she asked softly. </p>
<p>And that was all it took to overpower years of carefully crafted defenses. Tears overflowed, but Ami only smiled kindly. </p>
<p>Usagi was at his other side out of nowhere, her fingers curling soothingly around his own as she sat on the arm of the couch right next to him.</p>
<p>He nodded rapidly in response to the question, unable to form words around the brick lodged in his throat. </p>
<p>“It’s not all pleasant, just so you know,” Ami warned, her voice both warm and concerned.</p>
<p>He shook his head. It didn’t matter. Restoring lost memories was something he had never been allowed to hope for. “I have to know.” </p>
<p>Usagi traced meaningless comforting patterns onto the back of his hand with her thumb, grounding him into the moment. </p>
<p>Ami’s smile expanded. “Excellent. I have some hypotheses about your memory loss and am eager to see if I can figure it out.” </p>
<p>“Hypotheses?” he repeated. </p>
<p>Ami reached into her pocket, flipped out a blue device. “Yes, yours is different than ours,” she reported, her nose looking at the lit up screen of scrolling data. “We all lost a year, but the crystal essentially reset everything, so that year never really happened. But you have a month gap in your memories in this repeated year.” </p>
<p>“Perhaps, it’s just normal cranial trauma,” he argued. The simplest explanation was often the correct one. </p>
<p>She bit her lip. “I mean, I guess that’s possible, but I don’t think so. I think that some part of you was trying to give yourself a sign.”</p>
<p>His eyebrows furrowed together. “What do you mean?” He pulled Usagi’s reassuring hand to his mouth, and placed a kiss of acknowledgement on the side of her hand.</p>
<p>“Like, your subconscious mind was trying to give you a reason to look, to search for what was missing,” Ami explained. “Your lost year, your love, your past life.”</p>
<p>The explanation appealed to him. Like some part of his soul remembered Usagi and was trying to force him to obsess over his missing time, so he would be more likely to find her. He allowed his fingers to caress her own, turning to look into her smiling eyes. </p>
<p>Looks like it had worked. </p>
<p>“I don’t know if Luna’s mind meld will work on you since you are not a senshi,” Ami continued. “But we can try. And if that doesn’t work, I’m sure we can find something in the Mercury database.”</p>
<p>“Luna?” Mamoru questioned, turning towards his girlfriend. “Isn’t that your cat?” </p>
<p>The black cat jumped onto the table in front of him. “Not exactly a cat,” it told him. </p>
<p>He started. Hard. Usagi almost fell out of his lap and off the side of the couch.</p>
<p>The girls all laughed. </p>
<p>“I’m clearly dreaming,” he concluded out loud. “All of this was already too good to be true. And a talking cat just seals it. This is not possible.”</p>
<p>The dark cat smirked at him. <br/><br/>Could cats even smirk? </p>
<p>This one could! That’s clearly what she was doing. </p>
<p>“Is this too overwhelming? We can tone it down,” Usagi offered. </p>
<p>“No!” he objected, pulling her more into his chest. “I want to know everything. I want to be part of everything. Because I love you.”</p>
<p>Usagi turned a delightful shade of pink. </p>
<p>“Awww!” the girls are squealed excitedly.</p>
<p>Usagi let her head fall onto his shoulder, but her eyes never left his. “I love you, too, Mamo-chan. I always have.”</p>
<p>Mamoru started for the second time when a series of high pitched alarms all went off simultaneously throughout the room. </p>
<p>Usagi wilted against him, even as the girls all groaned. </p>
<p>Ami flipped open what he had assumed was a wristwatch revealing another feline face looming large on the little screen - this one white. “What do we have, Artemis?” </p>
<p>“A Cardian at the main market in Minato-Ku.” </p>
<p>And then everyone moved all at once. Usagi kissed the side of his jaw and Ami patted his shoulder comfortingly, before both girls leapt to their feet. Flashes of colored lights assaulted his senses, and the girls were rapidly replaced with the guardian senshi. </p>
<p>Two seconds later, they had all vaulted off the balcony like it was nothing, leaving him alone in a room with abandoned tea cups and plates of half eaten treats. </p>
<p>His whole form twitched, wanting to go after them. But he remained unmoving and overwhelmed, feeling more useless than he had ever before in his life. </p>
<p>He jumped in startlement, as Luna rubbed up against his ankles purring. He pet her head absently, and she leaned into the caress before sitting primly on her haunches. </p>
<p>“You know, you probably don’t need to remember anything in order to join them. Your powers didn’t come from your memories.” </p>
<p>“I… have powers?” </p>
<p>The cat nodded. Like actually nodded. “Yes, you do.</p>
<p>Hope burst within him. </p>
<p>She bounded away towards the kitchen and leapt onto the counter. “We just need a rose.” </p>
<p>“A rose?” he repeated.</p>
<p>Luna fished out a pristine white rose from the full vase with her claws. With the flower safe between her teeth, she leapt into the air with a summersault, and sparkling polychromatic lights.</p>
<p>She landed neatly right at his fit and proffered the rose up to him. </p>
<p>He crouched down and took the flower from her. “What am I…” but before he even finished uttering the question, a shimmering energy spread over his form, and in its wake left him clothed in loose fitting smooth and flowing white linens. The cloths felt so light on his shoulders, like he wasn’t wearing anything at all. </p>
<p>He rushed over to the balcony and leapt up to railing, feeling lighter and swifter than he ever could remember, like he was tasting freedom in the form of movement.</p>
<p>Mamoru hesitated, looking down at the city below. Could he really just leap? </p>
<p>Luna jumped up to the guardrail next to him. “Well, go on. She’s waiting for you.” </p>
<p>He nodded with new courage.</p>
<p>And then he leapt into the sky.  </p>
<p>…</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Guys! We did it! We got there! I’m not going to lie. This one was hard to finish! I was banging my head against the wall so many times for this chapter. I really really hope that it doesn’t show. </p>
<p>Two things though! <br/>1) Mamoru really did try to say "I love you" in that first date. He and I fought about it. So him saying that to Usagi in the hospital scene was a subtle breaking of the fourth wall in my head. Haha! <br/>2) My beta, TinaCentury pointed out a continuity error in this chapter. That previously in the story Mamoru was a med student, and in this chapter I made him a second year resident. (Because I have him as a resident in another story and I just didn't think enough about it clearly). I BEG you to ignore this. If I fix that continuity error I was going to have to rewrite the whole hospital scene, and I could NOT handle that. But Tina was right. And I hope you don't find that too detracting. </p>
<p>Special thanks to FloraOne for literally guiding me by the nose to get all those non-dialogue pieces in there during the confession.</p>
<p>And special thanks to TinaCentury for listening to me complain about being stuck in this story. For her encouragement and patience and understanding. </p>
<p>And most importantly to Starling Sinclair, for sending me the one line about what she liked in fic that led to this beautiful story. I’m quite proud of how it turned out. And I really hope you enjoyed it too. Thank you for taking this journey with me. And for waiting so very patiently for all my updates. We’re well beyond April 15th at this point.</p>
<p>I’m now going to start banging my head on the wall to finish Cravings for Chocolate Milkshakes! Wish me luck! </p>
<p>Reviews/Comments are love!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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